Friday, November 4, 2011

Epic Fail- I forgot my Halloween Post

I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to tell you all about our Halloween Party.
After missing Halloween last year, if you think I passed up my golden opportunity to finally be MTV's trashiest teen trainwreck, you've got another thing coming.
Lemme introduce you to my dear friends, Amber & Gary.

Have you ever seen 2 more beautiful people in your life????
Seriously? Flippin gorgeous!!!  Bhahahahaha. Okay, now yall know my oddly sick obsession with bad reality tv, and that Teen Mom probably tops the list as my personal favorite.  And as much as it pains my husband to admit it, ole Kev lives for that ridiculous show as well.  We legitimately get in conversations about the people on that show on a regular basis... like they're our friends.... like thats normal.  
Anywho, I'd been talking about wanting to be sweet Amber since last year, so when we figured out that none of our friends had any plans to celebrate Halloween, I immediately started talking Kevin into having a small shin-dig at our house.  After all, I knew it'd probably be my last chance to bust out my portrayal of the break out 16 & pregnant star, Amber Portwood.  
I'd be lying to you if I said that I wasn't met with some resistance from Kevin.  Since we did NYE at our house, along w/ some other couples showers & parties this past year, he wasn't exactly over-joyed about hosting yet another party.  However, once he realized he got to wear a costume, the tide started to change in my favor.  
I don't know what it is about my husband, but the kid utterly LIVES to dress up in insane costumes.  Even funnier is that he ends up getting super into whatever the character is, and just rolls with it for the whole night. 
Whats up Caroline & Kev, circa 2006?
Above is kind of a weak example, but this was taken before a Chi O Date Party my senior year.  The theme was clearly a March Madness Theme (Surprise surprise, we are in Kentucky), so you'd think Kevin would've just thrown on a matching basketball jersey to match my 5th grade cheerleading Uniform (Yes, I said 5th grade, but thats another story all together), but Ohhhhh no.  He had to make his character "more authentic." Seriously? Its a date party. Calm. It. Down.  Sooo in order to be an "Authentic" March Madness basketball player, he made his friend, Stephen, spend 45 minutes drawing that sweet Tattoo you see in that picture.  Because I'm sure every intoxicated Chi O AND their date noticed.  Good Grief. The boy wears me out.
Anyway, once Kevin FINALLY agreed to the party at our house AND that he would accompany my Amber character w/ his best Gary Shirley Costume, I thought I'd won the lottery.  Until I remembered his propensity to get hung up in the details- he then continued to pester the absolute hell out of me about the following regarding his Gary costume:

1) The Flat Billed Hat He honestly worried about what hat to wear, because he wasn't entirely sure of Gary's favorite team bc he wears different hats in every picture.
2)His Gary Stomach-  So, Gary probably outweighs Kevin by 100lbs.  Kevin was truly concerned that he wouldn't look the part because he didn't have on a fat suit.  Then he kept inquiring about me putting stuffing in his shirt to make him appear larger.  Seriously. But how do you say "Ummm, honey- I think a womens XS makes you look puffy enough." in a nice way? 
3) Ice for his ears- So Back in the day, my preppy hubs got all gangster on us & had not one, but both ears pierced.  He proceeded to rock this look w/ studs in his ears. GHETTO FABULOUS!!!! So, having him wear earrings like Gary was no big thing.... or so I thought.  He then got alll choosey about which of my diamond studs would look best as Gary.  Not kidding when I tell you he vetoed at least 2 pairs.  Dang, picky!
4) Baby Leah- Okay, so obviously, we needed a baby doll to complete our Amber & Gary Teen Mom look, otherwise, we'd look like any other couple that roams Walmart past 11:20pm on a given night in Kentucky.  I figured we'd just borrow one from one of our neighbors. Oh no. That wasn't gonna be good enough for Kev.  He called me from Target to ask me about a $22 "life-like" baby doll. After I nearly hung up on him for his clear desire to just burn through money, I calmly explained to him that we could probably just borrow one, or find one in the $1 section because it was pointless to actually purchase a doll that would be most likely not make it through a party at the Grays.  He begrudgingly agreed, but still managed to critique my $2 doll choice when I brought it home.  And don't worry yall, our beloved daughter "Leah" doll basically ended up serving as Hudson's chew toy for the whole night after pictures.  

Even though I might not have been able to satisfy all of Kevin's over-the-top costume preference requests, I think he would agree that he wound up being a pretty legit Gary.
Amber putting Gary in his Place....Please note the Ice in his ears. Hot.

Amber getting physical w/ Gary...and not in the Olivia Newton John sense of the word.

Amber being a great mom w/ Brooke aka Eden Wood Grand Supreme

This was taken about 3 minutes before I managed to lose baby Leah for the night.. I then proceeded to find Hudson with it & the head ripped off & torn into about 1000 pieces.  I personally think he was just super annoyed that we chose to use a fake baby doll to play baby Leah & he didn't get to dress up in an outfit.  Maybe thats why he decided to run away mid-party? What do you think Pink Lou Lou? :)  Regardless, Sorry boy- next year!

I feel like you all should probably know that I opted out of using traditional Halloween decorations.  Too predictable.  Instead, I opted to adorn my house w/ random pictures of Amber & Gary.  Judging from the picture above, I am obviously not kidding.  I probably had about 10-12 pictures of them scattered throughout the house.  Don't worry.. I kept it classy.  I printed them all on card stock.  

So my friends, that pretty much captures our party in a nutshell.  And yes, in case you were wondering, I have saved everything just in case one of you wants to be the lovely Amber Portwood next year.  Just let me know :) hahahahahaha.
Thats it for now!


  1. Oh my goodness.

    Where do I EVEN begin.

    I heart Amber and Gary so much. And please tell Hudson it was not nice of him to run away and make me cry.

    That is all.

    PS can I borrow that rad eyeshadow? It just looks so pretty. ;)

  2. LOVE IT!! Hilarious. Yall were perfect.

  3. I don't know if your eye brows are meth enough, but you're eye shadow is legit AMber. Love Kevin and I don't even really know him. This is hilarious! "Ummm, honey- I think a womens XS makes you look puffy enough." hahahahhahah oh Caroline, your posts always make me LOL. Love you!

    p.s. It's sad I know who Eden Wood is and I don't like her.

  4. and btw ... YOU HAVE A DOG??? WTF?!

  5. Hahahaha!!! I love how when Amber talks about going to JAIL she says "jell". Like "spending that 24 hours in jell was so terrible". Wahhhhh! Your costumes are freaking awesome.

  6. bahahaha I love love love that you dressed up as Amber! She's one of my fav reality starlets. haha

  7. Hahahaha! Perfect costumes! I love me some reality tv!

  8. I'm a little obsessed with 16 and pregnant and the Teen Mom shows too. Everyweek I think Farrah needed to be spanked more as a child, but every week I watch anyway.

  9. I'm obsessed with that show and before I even read the description I was jealous that you did it! Love it, and little baby Leah too cute!

  10. Can I say this without being offensive? ... You make a GREAT Amber and Gary! I'm a HUGE Teen Mom fan too and love that you decided to recreate this train wreck for your Halloween costume.... complete with a baby Leah! So creative and so perfect! Can't wait for the next season to begin!

  11. Hahahahah this is awesome! I would never think of something like this for a costume. Perfection! Love "Gary's" flat billed cap and bling! Your eyeshadow is pretty hott too if I say so myself!

  12. Hey just wondering what your workout regimen consists of? Do you run? How many miles? Please do a workout post for us! :)


  13. Y'all are great!!!! Hilarious post :)