Tuesday, September 3, 2013

New Momma Honesty at its Finest

I have a large confession to make....

When I was pregnant, one of the reasons I could not wait to have little man was I thought it would mean my life would get back to normal. 

I don't think I've ever been so wrong about anything in my whole life. And if you know me at all, it is extremely hard for me to admit when I'm wrong.  

While I absolutely adore my perfect little baby boy, I also have never felt so not normal. 

Before you start pushing antidepressants my way, I'm not talking about baby blues or post partum. I'm more talking about the fact that no one could ever prepare you for the wide array of new worries & completely raw emotions a baby brings to your life.

The expression "I love (fill in blank) so much, it hurts" might be the most accurate description of what it feels like to love a child. 

And it is absolutely terrifying. 

I used to think my Mom & Dad were complete psycho paths for worrying about me all the time. I need to slap my younger self because I bet I am 20 times worse.
I play the "what if" game in my head on an every hour basis. Like... What if he gets hurt at daycare? Or what if something happens to me while I'm driving to work?  Or what if he stops breathing in the middle of the night while I'm asleep? 
Get a grip, right?  Apparently this goes with the territory of being a parent.  Who knew you couldn't just turn that instinct on and off? 

And then, you know those parents who freak out when their child gets sick & you think they're completely nuts for overreacting about a virus or cold... 
Well, don't even get me started on what it felt like when he was sick with a fever for the first time. I may or may not have started crying because I knew he was so miserable. And you legit feel powerless because there is not a damn thing you can do except wait until the Tylenol kicks in. 

Clearly he was just as upset as I was over his random virus. ummm wait. Not so much :)

I also didn't understand the people that just wanted to stay home with their kids on a Friday or Saturday night. Like, just call a babysitter already & be social.  When I was pregnant, I thought I'd immediately jump right back into the social scene.  I wasn't gonna let a baby hold me down.

Ha. Like thats easy.

First of all, after working all week, I am literally dying to spend time with my sweet boy. The thought of leaving him again on my off time kills me. 

Second, it still scares the hell out of me to leave him with anyone except our parents. You might call it over protective, I call it peace of mind.

Third, when we do make it out, all I'm really thinking about is "I wonder if little man is okay. I wonder what he's doing..."  Going out & partying it up with our friends seems to have lost its luster, which I'm sure makes us totally uncool & huge losers, but whatevs. I'm 28, married, & have a newborn baby. I fit in at a bar like Miley Cyrus would fit in at a convent.

She frightens me.

Lastly, while we do take Brooks places with us, it's damn near impossible to successfully carry on great conversations while tending to him. Plus, we don't want to be "those parents"- certain places are absolutely inappropriate for babies/children to be at. Our friends have been absolutely amazing about us carting Brooks places with us, but I don't want him to wear out his welcome.  Or scare anyone out of having kids :) 
Right now, to be honest, staying in is just a bit easier.  Do I miss going out on the town? Yes, from time to time. However, the thought of waking up hungover with Brooks raring to go at 7am makes me want to jump off a cliff. 

However, to be even more honest, one of my favorite nights in the past month was when we had a "family date" with my girl Katie, her husband, & new little guy, Bennett.  We had an absolute blast watching our little men flail around with each other, while swapping new parent stories over cocktails.  And I mean, have you ever seen anything so adorable in your life?  Bennett is 3 weeks younger than Brooks, so Katie, Shane, Kev, & I had loads of hilarious tales to chat about.  (PS- Check out Katie's adorable blog. You'll love it. )

Brooks & Bennett. BFFs for life :)

I also thought I knew a little something about babies before I had one. Ha. 
I feel like I owe anyone I ever gave parenting advice to before I had little man a HUGE apology.
Let's be honest, is there ANYTHING more upsetting than when people (who do not have children yet) start giving you parenting advice? Or questioning your techniques?  Seriously, while I know some are trying to help, as harsh as it sounds, unless you've gone through it, its hard to put a lot of stock into your words of wisdom.

I borderline wish I could go back & kind of prepare myself for all of the wrong assumptions I was making.  Then again, we all know I wouldn't have listened :)

While I'm still adjusting to my new normal & feel out of my comfort zone a lot of the time, this guy's smile makes every day worth it.

That about does it for me.  I hope my insane honesty didn't scare you away just yet :)  I promise my next post will be waaayyyy more cheerful.  I just had a ton on my mind.

Regardless, I Hope everyone has a good week! 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

A Change of Pace

As you all probably noticed, I've kind of taken a blog break.  I figure if I'm on maternity leave from my job, I am also on maternity leave from my blog.  
However, with maternity leave winding down, I figure I better get my tail back to blogging too.

To start with what I've been doing, I think this pretty much sums it up....

I know all new parents say it, but I'm fairly convinced I have the best little guy on the planet.  And also, as cliche as it sounds, I dont think I was prepared for how obsessed I was going to be with him.
Soooooo as a result, you'll probably notice that my blog might have a bit of a shift.  

And, I'm gonna continue to write whatever ridiculous happenings that might occur.  Because lets face it- with me as a parent, yall know I'm gonna have some insane stories to share.  
Don't worry, I'm not going completely soft, because I don't plan to sensor much either. 

But I thought I would provide yall with fair warning that my blog might be include a baby picture or 2 (or eight, hell, you should see the camera roll on my phone. I look insane given how many pictures I take of him every day.)  from here on out.  
If you're not down with that, I totally understand because I would have rolled my eyes at people like me prior to having little man :)
Anywho, like I did in the first few weeks, I thought I'd include some parenting lessons I've learned during month 2.

1) The amount they charge for formula should be considered highway robbery.  Seriously, why can't it cost the same as a gallon of milk?  I'm convinced the Similac people & Enfamil people got together & decided to price gauge that stuff.

2) My child is EXACTLY like his father.  I'm not kidding.  If he has a good nap, a good meal, and a healthy diaper, he is one happy camper.  Weird how his father is the exact same.  

In addition to being his little clone, Brooks' mannerisms are identical to Kevins.  Its adorable, yet sometimes creepy because I know exactly what movements Brooks is gonna do next.

3) Babies have no modesty., especially as it relates to creating a healthy diaper.  Without getting too specific, you can hear his groaning from across a crowded room.  It is legitimately embarrassing.  Its like he must let the WHOLE damn world he's creating something terrible.  People should really warn you that babies pull those type of dramatics.  Wait, wonder if its must my child that pulls those stunts.

4) Video Monitors at night are beyond creepy.  This statement is especially true if you've seen paranormal activity or Blair Witch Project.  As soon as you turn out the lights, the display has a black & white/back lit type display. Every night, I scare myself to death because I'm petrified that someone/something is gonna pop up in the camera & take us all away.  I'm well aware I wound crazy, but when you're sleep deprived, you convince yourself that anything is possible :)

Anyway, I'm happy to be back & I hope yall stick with me during this crazy life change.
Thats all I've got for today, but I'll be sure to check back in soon.  

Get ready because I have a feeling this girl's life is fixing to be turned upside down when I go back to work.  And with him in daycare, I'm scared of my learning curve :) hahahaha.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Introducing Baby Brooks!

So, I'm just gonna cheat a bit and skip right over the labor portion of his birth story. We'll save that 15 hour glorious labor story  for another day. I'd rather not relive it quite yet (Dont be scared, Momma's to-be & future Moms, it's just a super long story that I'll save for when the time is right. It's not too horrendous, I promise!)

Instead, I present to you all, the happiest ending of all time-

Brooks Walker Gray

As you all can imagine, I am absolutely obsessed with this little guy!  Lets be honest though, with a face like that, how could you not be? Granted, I might be a tad biased :)  
However, I have learned a few things in my first few weeks as a Momma....

1) Homeboy goes through an INSANE amount of diapers in a day.  I thought people were exaggerating when they said you went through 10-12 diapers per day. Ummm, no.  That figure is SPOT.ON.  The amount of ummm matter this child produces is phenomenal.  
2) Inevitably, if I sit down to eat, he starts to cry.  The irony?  (Knock on wood) He is a super laid back baby so far.  I guess he wants me to lose my baby weight sooner rather than later, because he always interrupts my meals.
3) Golden Showers are part of the norm with little boys.  Along with daily or bi-daily baths.
**And that is the LAST time I will ever ever mention my child's bowel movements on this blog. You have my word. **
4) Breast milk stains certain fabrics.  I'd love to say that I'm cool with this because I am so happy my child is doing well with breast feeding, but ummm, I'm not. Boo. Hiss. And sorry for the TMI. 
5) Going on a solo trip to Target makes you feel like you're a child who has just gotten out of school for the summer.  I want to bust out a, "Let Freeeeeeddddoooommmm Riiiinnnngggggg" as soon as I back out of my driveway.
6) I want to show off my child to everyone & ANYONE who I come in contact with.  Ie: I may have mentioned that I just had a child to 3 different people today while I was at the mall.  And I was there for 20 mins.  
So, as a result of #6, I have made it a top priority to get out some birth announcements so EVERYONE can see this handsome little devil ASAP.  
When I was pregnant, I totally thought that I would just get some customized Birth Announcements printed up for him, and send out those bad boys immediately.
And then I had him, and had to get real with myself reaaaallllll quick.
My days now absolutely fly by, and my time is crazy limited and/or super scheduled.  
As a result, I figured I would have to settle for something not quite as cute or customized online, which totally bummed me out.

Then, as I was uploading his newborn pics to Shutterfly, I discovered Tiny Prints, and HOLY AMAZING. I AM OBSESSED.

They have every type of adorable Birth announcements, birthday invitations, & baptism stationary you could ever imagine, and you can totally customize it.

ummm, Check yes. 
I don't have to leave my house, can choose from a super cute design, and can upload all of his adorable newborn pics from my mac without having to leave my house?  Thank God Almighty.
 Tiny Prints is officially my savior.

Now my main issue lies in which one to pick, which I thought I would ask for yall's help in choosing which one we should pick.
SOOOOO..... here we go.
(FYI- I haven't put any of Brooks' pics in, so just imagine his presh lil face in these announcements)




Previously, I would have obsessed for hours over which one to choose from, but like, I said before, my "me" time has diminished at an exponential rate.  
So ALL of your all's thoughts regarding the birth announcement will be hugely beneficial to me!!!

Anyways, I think that about does it for me.  Let me know what yall think!  

And also, thank you so much for all of your sweet tweets, prayers before his delivery, and all around thoughtfulness during my pregnancy & after his arrival.
It has meant the absolute world to me.

Have a great Friday!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Maternity Leave = Productivity Level at an all time high

Like I mentioned in my last post, I am officially on maternity leave.....

What does that mean exactly, since I haven't given birth to this child yet?  

For most people, it would mean actually taking a break.  Like, sleeping in, catching up on various shows via netflix, taking a long afternoon nap, and leisurely hanging out with your husband at night.

 I'm not most people.

I can't sit still to save my life, so I have tried to make this maternity leave as productive as possible.
So far....

-I have cleaned out every closet in our house, which has resulted in an insane amount of trips to goodwill (legit, the people there know my name.  Still kind of undecided if this is a good thing or not? I'd love to say it looks like we're being generous, but lets be honest- that many trips kind of reiterates that we couldve been considered hoarders the past few years...)

-I cleaned every inch of woodwork in our home, including the kitchen cabinets.  Needless to say, Murphy Oil Soap & I have become best friends over the past few weeks.  I'm legit acting as though this child is going to give our house a white glove test & the outcome is gonna determine if he stays with us or not.  Totally plausible.

-Utilized our fabulous carpet cleaner to clean every inch of our carpet, whether it needed it or not.

-Have tried to naturally induce labor by walking/running 2-3 miles every day, eating spicy foods, doing weird yoga poses, & other unmentionable actions that I will spare you details on.  
**Main Takeaway--- NOTHING will work.  It is absolutely true- these children really do come when they are ready.  Beyond disappointing, right? Sigh, I know, especially when you're a crazy A-type personality like yours truly...**

Lies.  All of them.  Trust me, I've tried EVERYTHING.

-Completely cleaned out & reorganized our pantry.  Because doesn't everyone need to have their food categorized?  So. not. normal. 

-Have become a laundry fiend.  Hilarious, I know, seeing how laundry has always been my least favorite chore.  However, since I've been off work, I absolutely cannot stand to see any piles of laundry sitting around.  I think I've almost become OCD about it. 
**Side note: My husband might produce more laundry in a 3 day period that a 5 person family does in a week.  It is truly incredible.  How one person produces so much laundry is beyond me.  I'm starting to think he wears an outfit for an hour & then puts it in the dirty clothes.  On the bright side, he's totally prepared me to deal with a baby because I doubt our child will even produce this much laundry.**

Now, I would love to tell you this is that so-called "nesting" instinct that people talk about, but I actually just think I'm super bored.
Kevin obviously thinks that maternity leave (along with pregnancy, in general) is the best thing to ever happen to him & our home.  He even went so far as to tell me that he could start leaving me
"a list of tasks to complete every day," which would ultimately be help curb my boredom. 

Ha. What a sweetheart, right?

While I'm sure I'm going to regret not taking this time to relax, I think the organization & cleaning has actually been beyond therapeutic.  On the bright side, I am no longer having the crazy pregnancy dream that little man decides to pack a suitcase & leave because our house is not clean/big/organized enough for his liking, so that is a major win.

Wellll, that about does it for me.....With only a few days left before little man gets here, there is no telling what else I'll find to organize or clean before then :)

Hopefully the next time I post, I'll be introducing all of you all to Mr. Brooks!!!!
SOOOOO EXCITED- and as a warning, my blog might turn into a baby shrine for a bit because lord knows, if its anything how we are with our fur babies, I'll have a gazillion pictures ready & waiting to share with the world :)

Get ready!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Name Game

I find it absolutely hilarious that people think they should be able to have some say so about what Kevin & I name our unborn son.

For example,
Dear random lady in Kroger, do you think that I'm going to take your opinion about what constitutes a legitimate name when your cart is filled to the brim w/ totinos pizzas, mountain dew, and donut holes, while yelling at your 4 kids (all named after celebrities or totally made up, mind you) as they are wrecking havoc on the candy aisle?  You seem to be a totally credible source of all things great in a name. Wait.. no. Not so much.

Dear random dude in my customer's office, I don't really care that you don't like our child's name.  You named your child LOUDILLA. Yes, and that is pronounced exactly as it looks.  I guess its a spin from his love of Armadillos?  Regardless, you forfeited your right to give ANYONE an opinion about their children's name when you named your child LOUDILLA.  Thanks.

Dear Facebook friend who is on her 4th child (and is my age, mind you), You've named your first 3 children after characters in the Twilight series.  After you ran through your fav names from that super well-written book collection, you managed to name your last child after a character from Shades of Grey because thats a completely appropriate for a newborn.

Can you tell people absolutely LOOOOVVEEEE to tell you their opinions on the name you select for your child?  I honestly don't think I would ever have the gall to tell someone that I disliked the name they selected for the baby.  While it can be hilarious in some instances, that various people feel like they have the authority to give their opinion about whatever name you've selected, it is usually just plain annoying.

As a result, Kev & I just essentially decided that once we selected a name, we would stick with that name, end of story.  It is when people sense that you are undecided on a name that they try to sway you with the various names they favor (which are usually absolutely dreadful).  Anywho, this method has seemed to work, and people (for the most part) don't try to convince us to name this little name anything other than what we've already landed on.

Soooo.... I know yall are just dying with anticipation, right? hahahahaha, I'm sure.

The name for our little guy will be.....

Brooks Walker Gray!

Once we found out it was a boy, Brooks was honestly the only name we agreed on.  Kev was funny in the fact that if we would have had a girl, he would have let me name that child whatever I wanted.  But with a boy?  Ohhhhh, hells no.  It was game on as far as finding a boy's name that was manly enough, yet wasn't completely over done.  

We wound up choosing Brooks, because it was the perfect combination of being manly, not too popular, and it worked with our last name.  **Side bar**- Kev might also try to tell you its to pay homage to Rich Brooks, the former UK football coach, but I swear there is no connection.**

We really wanted to use a family name, because it just makes the name of a child so special.  While we toyed with the name James (Kevin's first name, his dad & grandfather's name, and my grandfathers name), we decided that James Brooks Gray or Brooks James Gray sounded wayyyyyy too much like a law firm.  We selected Walker because it actually is a family name.  It was my Grandmother's maiden name, and it worked perfectly with Brooks & our last name.  

And, there you have it!!!

Mr. Brooks should be here within the next week, so fingers crossed for a safe delivery :)

In the meantime, here's a little sneak peek of his nursery!

Thats allllll I've got for today, but since I'm now on maternity leave, be on the look out for some more posts in the very very near future :)  

Side Note** (I swear the whole pregnancy brain is not a myth.  I would have written more in the past few months, but my mind has been just completely blank.  I wrote about our carpet cleaner at one point, if that tells you anything :)  )**

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Little English!!!

Sooo, as I've mentioned previously, I have become an even bigger shopaholic since becoming pregnant.  I know, I know, I didn't think that was possible either.... But it is.

I honestly cannot help it- baby & children's clothing are just too much fun & too adorable to pass up!  Plus, as I've mentioned previously, shopping for yourself, especially when you're 8+ months pregnant, is for the birds.  At this stage, you can't envision yourself ever being skinny again, the only shoes you want to wear are comfy/support flats (Lets face it- unless you're wearing orthopedic shoes, sassy flats that are 100% comfy/supportive do not exist.  Tory Burch needs to step up her game & invent a maternity line asap.), & the thought of leaving your house to venture out to the mall makes you want to cry.  Its seriously a no win situation.

In turn, shopping for my son is infinitely more fun.  I've become mildly obsessed w/ finding precious clothes for him (along w/ pieces for my nieces & nephews) that I'm not going to see on every other child.  I can only handle so much Gymboree & Carters on a child- I swear, all of their stuff starts to look identical, no?

Lucky for me, I found a phenomenal fix for my obsession of finding unique, yet quality clothing for not only my soon to be born son, but also for my other family members.
What might that solution be?!?!?

  Little English!!!!

If you aren't familiar with this precious collection, brace yourself for a whole LOT of adorable.

I mean, lets be honest.... what little boy wouldn't look handsome in one of these little numbers??  

Aghhhhh! I die! So flipping cute.  

I can't lie though- looking at the little girls' dresses & outfits kiiiiinnnnnd of make me wish I was having a girl.
I guess I'm just gonna have to spoil my nieces because some of these are too gorgeous to pass up. (See- my shopping problem is clearly getting out of hand, yall!)

So, here I am feeling pretty excited that I found Little English & all the fabulousness that goes along with it.
THEN, I find out even BETTER NEWS!

1. For all you Kentucky Girls, they are based here in Lexington. Holy Amazing. (And sorry, Kev, for the dent that might make in our bank account.)

2. (Hold onto your hats because #2 will ROCK your world)---

(Even bigger apologies to my husband, because that obviously means that dent in our bank account just exponentially grew in size. oops.)

Obviously, this is phenomenal news, right?  Especially since the weather is supposed to be absolutely terrible over the next few days.

So, if you're like me & adore fantastic children/baby clothing, especially when those items are on sale, let me give you all the details....

Warehouse Sale Location:

Regency Centre
150 W Lowry Lane, Ste 142
Lexington, KY 40503
(Down from TJMaxx)


Sunday, April 28th 2pm-6pm
Monday, April 29th 9am-5pm
Tuesday, April 30th 9am-2pm

Hmmm.. I just had an AMAZING thought. What if I went ahead & bought some of Little English's little girls' clothes, JUST IN CASE, my next child is a girl??  
Too crazy?
I'm totally kidding. 
Kind of :)

For now, I'll just have to settle (if you can even call it that because everything they have is beyond perfect!) for buying little boys clothes for our little man.

PS- Can you believe that he should be making his appearance sometime in the next 5-6 weeks?!?!?!


Anywho, I hope yall have a FABULOUS weekend!
And if you're in Kentucky, be sure to cater to your inner-shopoholic (like I obviously plan to do),
 and stop by Little English to take advantage of their amazing sale! 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

So, who are you married to?

I swear I'm still alive :)  It has been a wild few weeks for this girl, but be on the look out for some more posting consistency here in the next few weeks/months.  
In the meantime, I'm just gonna leave you with this sweet video I took of my niece a few weeks back. 

If you need a little afternoon pick-me-up, this should do the trick :)

How precious is that?  
(I swear I'm going to remind Riley of this video when she's about 15 :)  )

Goes to show that even at a young age, we all just want to marry someone as good as our own Dad.

That does it for me, but I hope yall have a great Wednesday afternoon!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Whiny Rant & a HUGE Rave

Happy Tuesday!!!

Soooo, in case you've never read my blog before (or if its been awhile), I'm about 7 months pregnant with our first child.  
Just know that going into today's post :)

I found the perfect cartoon to express 
my rant of the year....

Yall, it honestly blows my flipping mind that women are SO beyond eager to not only share their delivery stories with you the minute you get pregnant, but to also fill you in on 
ANY and ALL issues they had during their labor & delivery.
Do women who have difficult deliveries sign some document that says they MUST tell every detail of their awful experience to any pregnant woman they encounter???
Because I'm firmly starting believe that these women with horrendous tales get HUGE kicks out of sharing every aspect of their labor & delivery story, which, if heard from a 3rd party perspective, these stories could be confused with horror stories.
So, to whom it may concern:
I don't want to hear about how you almost died during childbirth.
I dont want to hear how your child almost died during childbirth.
Please don't mention that your epidural wore off.
Also, I don't want to listen to stories about not being able to get an epidural.
Lastly, please don't tell me about how awful your first month was with your child.
I mean, ladies, all of these discussions sufficiently scare the absolute hell out of ANYONE who listens to them, pregnant or not.
Because lets face it, in these situations.....

Ignorance is Bliss 
(in my mind, anyway)

Moving on to my RAVE Review...

So, I was always one of those girls who rolled their eyes at women who immediately stopped working out when they got pregnant.
Wait, I am still one of those girls who rolls their eyes at women who immediately stop working out the minute they find out their pregnant. 
However, it absolutely kills me to admit that your workouts definitely change during these months.
Those who have followed me for awhile know that I've always been big into fitness & workout 5-6 days/week.  More so, I've always been a runner.
I mean, I've done half marathons & a plethora of 5K races.
How hard can it be to continue running while knocked up?

(How hilarious is this throwback pic of me & Jan taken after the KY Derby Half Marathon? Jan looks like a flippin super model, and I look like a disheveled mess. Oh Jan...)

So In the spirit of transparency, I haven't run more than 2 minutes at a time since December.
So, to answer my question...
However, I have been super fortunate in the fact that I have maintained a high level of energy throughout my pregnancy, and have been able to work out 6-7 days a week.  While I'm well aware how OCD that sounds, I swear on everything that is Holy that I'm not trying to pull a Gisele or Heidi Klum & walk a run way 3 weeks after giving birth.  
To be perfectly honest, I've just maintained a steady routine of exercise & workouts because its one of the few things that I still have control over (to an extent).  Plus, it has been a great stress reliever.  As an added bonus, the consistent workouts will help me once I try to get this body back in shape after I have this child (one can hope anyways!)
So, like I said earlier, I've had to adjust my workouts in a HUGE way.  
One major thing that I incorporated into my workout routine has been this bit of fabulousness...

Why hello, Tracy Anderson Method!!!

Meet Tracy Anderson's method of pregnancy workouts, aka,
The Pregnancy Project. 
I cannot say enough great things about these workouts.  The $50 DVD collection provides you with 9 DVDs, one individual workout for each month of your pregnancy (Worth every penny). Believe you me, your abilities change with each passing month, so its great that it adjusts to accommodate that.
The Whooooollllleeeee Set!
The Best Part?

Tracy is pregnant throughout the workout series, so you don't want to cut her nearly as much as you do during other trainers' DVD workouts (I'm LOOKING AT YOU, JILLIAN MICHAELS.).
Call me a hateful wench, but it makes me feel 100000 times better when I see the trainer struggling during a workout, the same way I am.  Don't judge me :) 
So, take my word for it- as soon as you get pregnant, I highly recommend ordering this specific workout series asap :)

While my stomach has gotten exponentially larger in recent weeks, I'm convinced that the DVDs (along w/ our trusty workout bike & walks w/ the pups) have saved me (so far) from becoming Shamu's identical twin.

But hell, I'm pregnant & kind of crazy half the time, so I'll let yall be the judge :) 

7 months. 
3rd Trimester.
Thank God Almighty.

Well, I think i've probably hit my quota for sharing personal info for the entire year after this post, so I think thats about all I've for today.  

Have a great Tuesday!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Shopaholic + Baby = Terrible News

Hi.  My name is Caroline & I'm a shopaholic.  

Like, I can't leave a store without buying something.
Add in some pregnancy hormones & knowing the sex of my child, that addiction is easily amplified my 1000000.  

Do you have that image in your head?  Great.  Now add in the fact that I am a complete A type personality & am psychotic about planning out every second of my life.
Again, add in some pregnancy hormones, which magnifies the intensity of my personality by 200000.

I know, poor Kevin, right?  

Ha, believe it or not, he actually thinks being pregnant has made me a nicer person.  Maybe this is because I cry at every sappy commercial on tv?  (PS- I wish there was a way to block the ASPCA commercials.  I firmly believe that Sarah McLaughlin & Willie Nelson have a plot going against pregnancy girls because by God, they know how to prey on my hormones.  I try to convince Kevin to give to ASPCA at least twice a week, through my weeping. So attractive.)

Anywho, they say nesting comes in the 3rd trimester.  Ummm, I don't know who "they are," but "they" are hugely mistaken.  This girl has been all over "Nesting" since day one.
Also, I'm kind of unsure why they call it "nesting."  I call it "Actually being prepared for your child."  Crazy concept, huh?  Professionals crack me up with their crazy terms.  Actually, maybe they coin these terms to make pregnant women feel less crazy?  Hmmm. Theres a thought.
Regardless, I just keep trying to convince myself that my compulsive shopping is 100% normal.  Especially if my baby purchase is a bargain.
Its NOT my fault that sleep sacks, swaddles, and bottle racks all sell for under $10 at TJ MAXX.
You can't pass up deals like that, yall. Right?

However, I guess I hadn't really been keeping track of everything I had bought for our new addition, until I organized it all in his closet.




I mean.... does this look like a future episode of Hoarders, or what?  I'm kind of concerned that Kevin is going to stage an intervention for my shopping habits sometime in the near future.  So, I've tried  to cut back & restrain myself from buying baby items every time I see them.

And while I'm well aware I look like an obsessive first time parent (which is probably a fairly accurate assessment, now that I'm thinking about it....), I do have a legitimate reason for little man's closet looking like a mini Babies R Us.  I swear.

The reason being is that shopping for yourself absolutely BLOWS when you are pregnant.
1) People fail to warn you how incredibly unfun shopping for maternity clothes actually is.  In addition, people also fail to mention how hideous most maternity clothes are.  The ONLY hidden benefit are the pants, which are insanely comfortable- even dress pants.  I'm not entirely convinced that I'll ever really want to go back to my normal pants after wearing these bad boys.
2) You all know I am a huge sucker for make-up.  Like, the amount of points that I've accrued on my Sephora and Ulta Cards are almost embarrassing because of their high amount.  However, once you get knocked up, you don't exactly feel gorgeous, so you don't really want to run out & buy make-up.
Seems kind of counter intuitive, no?  It seems like make-up would help you feel prettier, but oddly enough, it just doesnt really work that way.  At least not for me anyways.
3) All fun aspects of shoe & purse shopping also instantly disappear once you get pregnant, mainly because you feel guilty about any crazy expensive purchases.  This whole guilt concept is an entirely new feeling to me, and I can't say I'm a fan.  However, I just can't rationalize $500 on a bag knowing that we could have bought something important for little man with that money.

Who AM I???

In turn, I think I'm going to just need to surrender my debit and credit cards to my sweet husband until we have this child.
Otherwise, we might wind up bankrupt :)

Bahahahahaha.  That about does it for me. Hope yall have a great week!!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Got Munchies? And other random questions

The minute you get pregnant, I think people think it is their constitutional right to ask you any insane & extremely personal question that pops into their head. It absolutely blows my mind some of the things that people have asked me since being informed that I'm having a child.  I thought for some quality entertainment that I'd recap some of the ridiculousness & share these questions with yall.

Question 1: "I bet you're craving alllllll kinds of crazy food. So like, what kind of weird things have you been eating?"

Answer: Hate to crush everyone's hopes & dreams, but not everyone has these crazy "cravings" as soon as they get pregnant.  I'm about 5 1/2 months, & I have yet to have any MUST-HAVE cravings where I've sent Kev off to the grocery at 1am to fetch me something.  When people ask me that, it causes me to stop & wonder why they're asking that question.  Do I look like I've been having insane food cravings causing major weight gain? Is that a polite way of telling me I look like a cow? Or are you just genuinely curious?  And if I had been experiencing anything crazy, it kind of opens yourself up to some judgmental Judy's, pertaining to healthy eating while pregnant. 

Question 2: Isn't it SOOOOOO hard not drinking when everyone around you is?

Answer: Whatever do you mean? People are drinking around me & I don't get to partake? Thank you, Captain Obvious for that astute observation.  Seriously? Way to pour salt in my wound... Just kidding :)
To be really honest, it really doesnt bother me in the least anymore.  Its funny because at first, I really thought I would miss my wine more than anything. After awhile, you just kind of get used to being Sober Sally & roll on with your bad self.  Can't lie though, It does help that the smell of most types of alcohol makes me want to toss my cookies.  Is it fun being around my friends or family when their tipsy?  Hahahaha, yes.  It is hilarious to watch people having cocktails while you are 110% sober.  It makes for the most interesting entertainment one can imagine.  It might even trump Real Housewives.  Would I want to do it 5 nights a week?  Absolutely not.  

Question 3: What do you think you're going to name it? Or what do you think of (fill in blank) as a name?

Answer: Lord knows I used to be guilty of this question.  Everyone likes to either know what you're naming the child ASAP, or they LOVE to throw out suggestions.  I get an absolute kick when people tell me names they think are beautiful or fitting for my child because all I'm really thinking is how disgusting they are & what awful taste they have.  I know that sounds mean, but yall, you should HEAR some of the names people have told us to consider.  They would blow your mind.  At this point in the game, chances are you & your significant other have already landed on a name or have a few top contenders.  (Yes, we do know what we are naming this little man, but I'm saving that for a different blog post.) I also think its funny that people are so willing to tell their favorite names to people who are pregnant, because lets get real, I've had some favorite names I've wanted to name my child since I was in like, the 6th grade.  I'll be damned if I'm gonna share them.  Mainly because I know I'd be devastated if someone took my name.  And yes, I'm well aware that I sound about 12 years old & I know more than 1 person can have the same name, but lets try to be original.  

Question 4: "Sooo, how much weight have you gained so far?"

Answer: None of your damn business.  This question absolutely eats at me.  How would people like it if I asked them how much weight they've gained lately?  It truthfully takes everything in me to not slap someone when they ask me that.  Or I just want to cry.  Either way, my reaction to this question is not pretty. (Mom, are you listening?)  At the end of the day, I think every pregnant person is well aware that they're going to gain weight during the pregnancy.  I mean, you are carrying another person in there.  Duh.  Do you want to be reminded about it 24/7?  Or quizzed on it by random people? Thats a hell no.  One aspect about this question that drives me particularly insane is when people who have already had children throw out random numbers that they supposedly gained while pregnant.  It is MADDENING, especially when those people re a bit... ummm... fluffy & they throw out that they only gained 3 pounds while pregnant.  Ummm. Sure, sweetie. Whatever you say.  You realize a typical child weighs around 6-9 pounds, right? Okay, then.  Keep on truckin. 

Question 5: "Can I feel your stomach?"

Answer: Well, Can I feel YOUR  stomach first?  Yall, this question/action terrifies me more than any other question.  I'm not a very touchy/feely person, so when random people ask to feel this tiny bump that I'm now rolling with, I want to crawl under a chair.  Its one thing if you are a girlfriend or family member of mine, but PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND BOUNDARIES.  Luckily, since its been winter, I've been able to mask my bump so far, but when I'm wearing something that is kind of tight-fitting or don't have a jacket on, I think people think it is a free-for-all.  I would never ever ever ever ask a stranger if I could feel on their stomach.  It is so bizarre to me & I really don't understand the fascination.  Plus, its so intrusive.  Would you do that to me if I wasn't pregnant? No? Okay then, back off. So, unless we're friends, don't ask me because it might set me off into a panic attack :)

To conclude.... I swear I don't have a bad attitude about being pregnant & words cannot describe how excited I am to meet our little man.  I think I have just been completely overwhelmed & totally underprepared by how people react to pregnant people.  The thing about this post is that these questions are just a random sampling from the crazy questions I've gotten so far.  Don't worry, I'm sure I'll have more to report on in the coming months that will be equally terrifying.  So, if you're thinking about getting pregnant in the near future, I just encourage you to read this post & ask yourself if you're ready to deal with the utter insanity that surrounds you when you are carrying a child.  I tell Kevin all the time that I feel like a Science Project :) 

Well, that about wraps it up for me! Hope you all are having a great week!