Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A Very Merry Un-Birthday

**I'd like to preface this post with 2 things. #1- I wrote this out by hand during my MBA Finance class from hell, while not only faux listening to my hottie (but painfully boring. Sigh. What a waste of hotness. ) teacher drone on about Cash Budgeting but also while entering work calls.  Hows that for multi-tasking?  #2- I got permission from Kevin before I wrote this post, so don't think I'm really throwing him under the bus.  Yall know, anything I put on here, I've probably already said to him directly at some point in time. Ha- Homeboy knows I love him**

So, lets discuss my birthday.  Judging by what I wrote about in my last post, I bet yall were 20 kinds of impressed with the hubs gift-giving skills, right?  Like it was one of those birthdays where I was showered with presents all day?
Wrong.  That post was beyond misleading.
So, now is when I will tell you all about how Kevin managed to monumentally screw up my birthday, yet has somehow lived to tell about it.

On my actual birthday, he got home from work, & proceeded to ask what we were doing for dinner. Ummmm.. seriously?  Way to plan ahead, Kev.  Obviously, our lack of plans made for an unpleasant Caroline, so I left in a huff to go to the gym, in attempts of regaining my birthday glory.  Luckily, he had redeemed himself by the time I got home & had made reservations at Malones (for all you non-Kentuckians, Malones is a steak/sushi/appetizer place.  One of the best restaurants in Lexington.).
It goes without saying that I anticipated a fantastic gift during our dinner, since he had yet to present me with anything yet.  So, when he slide an envelope with "Caroline" written on the front, I was beside myself with excitement.

Once he handed it to me, I thought I KNEW exactly what it had to be because it felt like there were papers inside of it.  I just KNEW he had surprised me with a trip to VEGAS!!!!  Kevin had a trip planned to go to Vegas for a bachelor party for the week following my birthday, and he knew I had been begging to go on a summer trip.  Plus, I had been dropping hints about how cheap the airfare/hotels were out there this time of year- what a perfect birthday present.  Or not.
This is what I found when I opened the envelope.

No, that isn't money to go gambling with.  And no, there was no plane ticket inside the envelope.  That was my present.  Juuuuustttt cash.  From our JOINT Checking account.  

Sooo romantic, right?  If I remember correctly, the dating book, The Rules, tells you to seriously re-evaluate your relationship if a guy doesn't give you something thoughtful for your birthday.  Unfortunately, that book only applies to dating.  There is no instruction guide on how to react when your husband clearly hit "yes" to the cash-back option at Target for your birthday gift.  I mean, come on KEV.  I sort of thought I was being Punk'd.  But alas, I wasn't, so needless to say, I turned into a basket-case during dinner.  I mean, full on tears, hiccuping, hands over face break-down. Actually-I may or may not have even thrown out The Rules comment at some point during that breakdown. Who am I kidding? I definitely did. The guilt-trip was ON like Donkey Kong.  
Side note- I feel awful for that waiter.  Poor kid had no clue what kind of hot mess he walked into.  Kev, I hope you gave him a legit tip.  Bless his heart.

So then Kevin "claims" he tried to get a gift card at Franchescas, but they were out of them? Umm hmm. okay, sure.  So, putting cash into an envelope seemed like a good plan B?   I mean, I guess maybe he over-exerted himself- maybe remembering the pin number on his replacement debit card took all of his energy, so he couldn't get past the ATM? Ohhhh boy, where did we go wrong with you? Cash?  Really? Lets seriously evaluate this though-  literally, the only actual gift I opened on my real birthday was an Elton John Greatest Hits CD from a male nurse in one of my offices (Yall know I can't make this stuff up.  And yall also know, this gift rocked my world.) 
So, now that I have ragged on him at an exponential rate, I have to tell ya, In all seriousness, I think he realized he had royally screwed up the minute he saw my face after opening my cash-laden envelope (or maybe he was just horrified by my meltdown & was contemplating hiding under the table...regardless, I think he felt bad.).  

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but one of the things I love most about Kevin is his ability to do amazing damage control.  His thoughtfulness sometimes astounds me. Not only did he come through in a big way with post Birthday presents, but I also found this little number waiting for me in my car the morning after he got back from Vegas.
Why hello Tory B!

Not gonna lie, finding a Tory Burch bag in my car can & will make me forgive anyone for just about anything.  Especially when I find this inside the bag!

Well played, Kev.  Well played.  

Thats it for now yall!


  1. that is too funny, I can't believe the gave you cash, oh men - so clueless!

    I definitely cried on my birthday this year too because my husband worked late [and I was locked out and had to break into our house and fell in the snow/ice]... then he didn't bring me home flowers and I wasn't a fan of the restaurant he wanted to go to... granted he got me a massage, but still. I'm a baby and cried. Clearly, we got over it. I didn't get a Tory Burch make-up gift though, I think he needs to see this blog post ;)

  2. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life as I just have!! lol Bless you heart, you deserved that Tory B bag FOR SURE after those shananigans lol Kevin knows better than that!! ;) Love ya girl!

  3. ha ha ha so sad that your actual bday was a dissappointment, but i'm happy he made up for it!! that bag is fabulous!

  4. This is a classic man screw up! It reminds me of David and I's second Valentine's Day together, which was ALSO our 1 year annivesary, AND I was 8 months pregnant (don't try and do the math there..haha =) ). I guess he hadn't read the rule book either because he failed miserably. No flowers, no card, no dinner, he worked late, and I ended up on the couch, by myself wailing, preggo hormones at their finest. I think he learned his lesson. That was a BAD night for him! ;)

  5. OOOOMG I love this story so much. So much. hahahhahahahahha. joint checking account. hahahah

    love you Carol.

  6. OMG this story is im sorry but hilarious! and soo typical!! Like really think every man has done this. My husband wanted me to choose my own christmas gift AND go buy it! WTH? men are so clueless!! Your bag is beautiful though.

    I love your blog. Very cute!
    New follower <3

    Lots of love,

  7. Haha- this story is out of control! I'm showing to my husband, so he understands the consequences of forgetting a birthday, anniversary, etc.

    Tory Burch does work miracles- props for that purchase ;)

  8. I totally understand why you were so upset.. Who wouldn't be! Atleast he recovered!


  9. Oh hunny I wanted to cry for you when he gave you CASH! But now I want to slap you in the face because you have an amazing husband. Probably turned out better that he screwed up you got more-out of the deal :) Happy belated bday!

  10. I seriously *died* reading this - my now-husband gave me a FISHING POLE as a Christmas gift once...on the Christmas that I just knew he was going to propose! I can laugh now, but I was a mess that night! Sometimes you have to wonder, where are their brains??

  11. Hahahaha.. Oh kev... So glad he redeemed himself! But really.. I hope this teaches him a lesson for birthdays to come! :)

  12. That is hilarious!!! When you were explaining how you were acting during dinner, all I could think of was the scene in Legally Blonde when they are breaking up at dinner and everyone is looking at them, ha!! But you're right, he did some serious damage control! Gotta love TB! I think I will be sending my boyfriend to this post to learn quickly what NOT to do. Lol, love your blog!!

    I am your newest follower! I hope you can check out me & my sister's blog and follow back :) We love new visitors!!

    Twitter: @maryanddyer

  13. lol this is hysterical! I would totally have a melt down. I mean that has to be some serious carelessness. If it makes you feel better my husband recorded over our wedding video?! How do you mess that up! Glad he redeemed himself

  14. OMG I can't believe I'm just now reading this. I LOL'd to this part ... your husband clearly hit "yes" to the cash-back option at Target for your birthday gift. .... but it's not funny because I would totally have melted down in your shoes. Birthdays make me so emotional for some reason not to mention CASH FROM JOINT CHECKING? NO SIR!

    He def made up for it, so he is back on my and Luxy's (typo and it stays)good list.

    And happy late birthday boO!

  15. Oh my goodness. This must be the birthday year that husbands screw up! My husband didn't even get me a card on my birthday...! Nor did he try to make up for it like I thought he would. He later told me that "It's the thought that counts but the worst part is, I didn't even THINK about getting you anything, not even a card!"... Charming, babe, charming! I totally cried like a baby on my birthday too!