Tuesday, September 27, 2011

So, lets discuss.....

How hysterical my mother is.  I'm not kidding when I say she makes me laugh on a daily basis.  About 90% of the time she doesn't mean to, and the other 10% is when she is trying to tell me a joke or something else funny, which she usually ends up telling incorrectly which makes it even funnier.
  Another reason Jan continually gives me mad kicks is because we are pretty much polar opposites.  Our minds work completely different.  My dad (who I am identical in personality to) & I talk daily, & we rarely go a day without some-sort of Jan-ism being told.
My all-time favorite Jan-ism came after Kevin & I were giving her hell about saving EVERYTHING.  When I say she saves things- I don't mean it in the pack-rat sense of the word, but more like it destroys her to see anything (and i mean ANYTHING) go to waste. In this particular instance, Kevin & I were telling her that it isn't necessary to put 2 peach slices (from a can, mind you) in a Glad tupperware box.  After getting distraught over our heckling, she finally threw her hands up & exclaimed,
"You two just DON'T get it.  I am a CHILD OF THE DEPRESSION, so I don't believe in wasting anything."

Great sentiment, right?  But, ummm... Jan?  I'm pretty sure you missed the Great Depression by about 22 years, seeing how you were born in 1954, and the Great Depression went from roughly 1929-1932.  

Bless her heart.  History is clearly not her strong suit.  (Ps- she now claims that what she MEANT was that she was a child of a child of the Depression. Uh, sure you did.)  Anyway, so remember what I said about her & I being opposites?  If you ever see my Momma out & about these days, chances are shes looking pretty stylish, but believe you me, that wasn't always the case.  She finally came to her senses about letting me pick out her clothes about circa 1999.  Thank. The. Lord. It was also around this time that Jan (along w/ my dad) started paying muuuuuch closer attention to pop culture (maybe because they were raising teenagers?  I still don't know the rationale behind them following popular trends.).  Anywho, their facsination w/ knowing the most current fads & adopting the most current "lingo" hasn't faded since we were teenagers.  Not one bit.  Please refer to the following texts I got from my mother after I was teasing her about her lack of fashion sense.  

Either Jan is getting more violent in her old age, or she definitely made a Bon Qui Qui Reference.  Truth be told, I wouldn't want to get into a tussle with Jan.  She probably would cut me.  Hahahahaha. No, but seriously. She might.  

Sooo, lets also discuss how bad Kentucky Football is this year.

Were currently on a 2 game losing streak, and I expect that to grow on a weekly basis over the upcoming weeks.  A few reasons why this upsets me.  
#1- Kevin takes it personally when they lose a game.  I'm not kidding.  It's like they deliberately ignored his play-calling from the stands, and he gets offended by that.  What nerve of those players- listening to their real coach.  
#2- Speaking of coaches- I loved Rich Brooks.  Adored him.  In fact, he is my #1 favorite person to follow on twitter.  He was a fantastic football coach.  Now... Joker P... Um. I can't say the same about you, buddy.  I've had issues with him inheiriting the Head Football Coaching position since the day they announced that decision.  I think a coach should have to prove himself, then interview for a DI, SEC coaching position.  You know, like other schools make other potential coaches do before hiring them? Crazy concept, right?  Maybe then we wouldn't have losses that end in a score of 48-10?  Blech
#3- WHAT ON EARTH IS MORGAN NEWTON SO FLIPPIN SCARED OF??????  The poor boy looks like he just stepped off a pee-wee football field & onto a pro-field when he tries to get a play off.  He seriously looks like the other players (including his team-mates) might try to eat him.  Just throw the damn ball
#4- Lastly- why can't they hold onto the ball?  Seriously, what on earth do the receivers do in their practices?  No, really, i'd like to know.  Their #1 job is to catch the ball, so I fail to understand why they can't do that.  Apparently we've had 10 turnovers in our first 4 games... only 4 other teams have had more than that.  For an SEC team, that is ridiculous.  
Okay okay, thats enough football talk.  I know you all who don't have football obsessed husbands like I do are probably yawning by now (coughpink-lou loucough), & probably need a translator for the last 4 paragraphs.  I just live with this EVERY day, so I am definitely projecting my frustrations on you poor readers!

Don't hate me because I'm not totally moving away from the sports talk, but I was seriously pumped that one GOOD thing game from Saturday's game.  I definitely did manage to get a photo-op with some other UK ball players this weekend.  You know, the infamous basketball ones?  AKA THE sport to watch in the Bluegrass if you're looking for a W?  
I look like an elf next to these boys.
Ohh heeeeyyy Doron Lamb & Anthony Davis.  Glad we could get a picture of us hanging out.  Like we do it all the time. hahahahaha.  Truth be told, Kevin & I might have stalked them down a long walk-way to get this picture.  How creepy is that?  Gotta love UK fans.  
Okay guys, I better end this because it is becoming painfully apparent that Kevin's UK obsession is starting to rub off on me, and its kinda weirding me out.  Sooo, thats it for now! xoxoxo


  1. Love this!! Don't worry, I have a football obsessed husband too and I may or may not have stalked down Fred Smoot for pictures at our first game ha! and P.S. your mom sounds like a hoot :)

  2. Are you sure those aren't the Marcus cousin?


  3. Lol! I love the text conversation with your mom!

    And my goodness, how tall are you?!

  4. Your mom is hilarious! I love the relationship you 2 have :)

  5. your mom is too funny and you are too adorable with those basketball players - you look so freaking tiny!

  6. oh man...I work with a depression era child and she is a hoarder and a half! Too bad Jan can't REALLY use this as a legitimate excuse...

    PS-can you and your family start a reality show? I need this type of entertainment in my life on a daily basis. K? Thanks.