Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A lost wedding band AND a wallet?

I've been getting a ton of grief for how much I rag on my husband.  I try really hard not to include his ridiculousness in posts, but in all honesty, I can't help it- he makes my life infinitely more entertaining.  99.9% of the time his entertainment is a great blessing.  However, sometimes he is just straight special & does clownie things... and they need to be chronicled for your reading pleasure.
For example, I bet none of yall can say that your husband has managed to lose his wedding band & wallet within the past week?  Yes- wedding band AND wallet.  WITHIN a week.  Who does that? Seriously, who does that???  I would love to tell you all some awesome story about how he lost his wedding band while cliff diving at the lake or even tubing, buttttt thats just not how it happened.  I'd also love to tell you that he was protecting my honor against a group of gang members (because there are so many dangerous gangs in Lexington & everything. ptschhh), but again, I'd be lying.  So let me tell you these new Kev stories.

So, the wedding band WAS lost at the lake- that much was true.  However, once I noticed he was wearing his wedding band on the boat, I immediately made him take it off, and put it in a plastic bag in the boats glove compartment for safe keeping.  So, we're all good, right?  WRONG. Once we got back to marina, I got the ring out of the bag & brought it to him.  I sat it ON the table, and said, "Kevin, put your ring back on.  KEV- put your ring back on." Welllllll, tubba wubba decided that he should first engorge himself in more Bold Chex Mix (I can't really fault him for this because it is super delicious- by far the best Chex Mix flavor.) before putting his ring all the way back on.  Then, his fingers were a hot mess, so he flicked the mess off into the water.  And into the water the wedding band went. Womppp womppp womppppp.  My wrath was definitely not worth the deliciousness that the Chex Mix brought to him- I can assure you that.  We've been talking about replacing the band, but it just feels kind of wrong.  I mean- he took vows in that original wedding band.  A replacement band would have zero meaning behind it, right?  So, he's been wearing a ring that I gave him when we were dating.
As a side note- To Clarify any misconceptions- That ring was not in any way a "promise ring."  Give me some credit- I'm not that lame.  One of his friends had one & Kevin thought it looked cool on, so he wanted one.  End of story.  So, don't let him lie to you & tell you anything different :)

So, lets discuss the wallet.... After our friend Dana's wedding rehearsal, all of the boys went out on the town.  Meanwhile, all the bridesmaids went back to Dana's house to just have some girl time.  Kevin came to get me in a cab because he had indulged in one too many cocktails. So, he picks me up with the cab driver, whom Kevin has completely befriended & also giving this poor guy marriage advice. 2nd side note: I would pay big money to have heard what kind of relationship advice he was giving that unsuspecting driver. I'm sure it was top notch pearls of wisdom. Seriously- it mildly frightens me to know what he said.  Also, we should also discuss that when we get into a cab, Kevin never ever ever sits by me.  He always hops up front- like he is going to help navigate in his less-than-sober stupor?  That sounds like a promising idea. Not.

Anywho, we finally get home & Kevin urges me to go inside to check on the dog- probably so he can finish his counseling session with the cab driver?  Then, he comes inside & BEGS me to take him to Taco Bell, while he is cooking pizza bites.  He's a great multi-tasker, what can i say?  Finally he goes to sleep.  The next morning is when he finally realizes he managed to lose his wallet in the 3 minute duration of me leaving him to walk inside & him paying the cab driver.  That dern Taco Bell 4th meal will cause ya to lose focus every time.

So, needless to say, he was not at the top of my favorite list of people this past week.  Then, a miracle happened.  I don't know if I've mentioned it or not, but I'm in the process of getting my MBA.  So, I have class every Monday from 6-10pm, and yes- it makes me loathe Mondays even more than the average person.  A root canal has to be way more fun than my Mondays.  When I got out of class last night, I came home to a clean house, a full pantry (aka a full on grocery trip had been made), a perfectly manicured lawn, and an offer to take the dog on a walk.  Truth be told, I don't think being offered a cameo on the Real Housewives would have made me as happy as he did last night. He's the best, and I don't say that enough.  Sooooo, next time I make mention of wanting to kick him in his teeth for being utterly ridiculous or tardtastic, will someone please remind me of how much I do love this face? 
I mean, how can you resist? hahahaha
So, a few other people that I am loving on this Wednesday.... So, do you all remember how my Mr. Vuitton became a burn victim right?  So, nice people at Saks & LV stepped up their game, anddddddd ITS BEING REPAIRED AS WE SPEAK!!!!! For only $87. Bargain.  I got a little huffy with their original unwillingness to fix it, so I think they might have been petrified to tell me that cosmetic surgery on him was out of the question.  I mean, you don't mess with a girl & their burn victim Louis.  Trust me. If they hadn't repaired it, I may have gone Bon Qui Qui on them (Mad tv- I will eventually post a link to this. Its my fav.)

The last person I am loving? The fictional Luke Cafferty from Friday Night Lights (Real Name- Matt Lauria).  I love him.  He might just be my favorite player to have ever played in Dillion, Texas.  Side note- football players in my high school never looked like that.  Ever.  Anyway- Friday Night Lights = best show on television.  Ever.  If you haven't seen it, immediately invest in some Netflix & start from the beginning.  You will thank me for this advice- I guarantee it.  

Okay, thats it for now yall.  Have a great rest of the week.


  1. Haha! My hubby also lost his wedding band once. Luckily, the little girls next door found it a few days later...IN THE STREET! They'd run over it in their golf cart first. Haha, he still wears it though.

  2. this is hilarious! I am dying that he wanted to go to taco bell while cookies pizza rolls.

  3. I literally have never laughed so hard in my life as when I just read the words "tubba wubba" ... surely anyone who watches RHWOC laughed when they read that too! lol has kev been hanging out with slade? bahahahahaha. poor kev! but what a good hubby to clean the house, grocery, yard and walk the dog?!? Good thing you documented that to keep forever! HA! XO

  4. Have I finally found a fellow housewives fan?!? YAY. Seriously. Everyone else has jumped off that bandwagon/trainwreck, except me. Still loyal to my ladies. I'm not going to lie, your hubby sounds a little like me. I will look 20 minutes for my phone while it's in my hand. A little absent minded ;) But what a sweetheart he was to make it up to you!

  5. OMG I have watched FNL since day one, and every week I tell my hubby, "I don't know what I'm going to do when it ends." I'll be a bawl bag that's for sure! Love your blog, adorable!! ;)

  6. hehehe I just laughed out loud at my desk when I read "I might have gone Bon Qui Qui" on them. I had to explain to someone last week about Bon Qui Qui. They needed to get it or I mighta had to call SUHHH-CUHRITY!

  7. OH my word! I love FNL and Luke Cafferty!! No high school boy I ever met was that sexy! haha