Thursday, September 1, 2011

You might be a crazy cat lady if....

Anytime I get asked if Kev & I have any pets, I almost dread answering the question.  People are generally accepting when I tell them I have a sweet puppy, but when I also mention that we have 3 sweet kitties, their acceptance turns into looking at me like I'm the unibomber.  I mean, come on yall- they're just cats, its not like I'm hoarding gerbils or ferrets.
Hooooowever, on the flip side, I'll admit that a lot of people who are self professed "cat lovers" tend to be ummmm, a little off, yes?


Regardless of the cat lady stereotype, I consider myself to be (relatively) normal.  I constantly insist to my friends that having cats as pets does NOT make you an automatic weirdo.  However, they still find it hysterical to poke fun I am a cat owner (Ahem Pink Lou Lou), so I field a variety of daily texts, emails, and phone calls that somehow alllllll mock (in a loving way, mind you) my love for my sweet angel kitties.  In turn, this has forced me to re-examine if I could maaaayyybe fit into the crazy cat lady category from time to time.  Can't lie, I've come to realize that I might have some tendencies... 

You might be a crazy cat lady if.....

- Every card you receive on your birthday somehow relates to cats



Exhibit A (Loves you Brooke!)


No joke, almost every card I got on my birthday this year had a cat on it, which of course, I loved.  Refer to the picture above- note that I still have some of cat cards & my birthday was 1.5 months ago. **Side bar- All of my cards also had something to do with wine/martinis- maybe I should also re-examine my love for both of those as well. Hmmmmmm. nahhhh. **

-You give your cats people names, and refer to them as "the girls."
In my defense, we got all of our cats 3+ years ago when the thought of having children was not even REMOTELY close in the horizon (okay yall, calm down- not saying its on the table for discussion right now either, but its closer than it was 3-4 years ago.), so I obviously felt the need to name my cats fun little girls' names.  In retrospect, I cannot even tell you how many times a stranger will hear Kevin & I talking about "the girls," and proceed to ask how many daughters we have.  Bahahahaha that explanatory convo is a laugh a minute, let me tell ya.  But, hey, at least I didn't name my cat after a Backstreet Boy. (CoughcoughLindsey Loucoughcough- Ps- yall, don't let me fool ya- she & her fabulous blog rock).

Oh heeeeyyyy Nick Carter. 

-You dress them up & have someone take your picture with them.
The good news about this little Caroline fun fact is that I only did this between the ages of 6-8 years old.  Clearly my parents didn't love me enough to splurge on a new American Girl Doll just yet (Pat & Jan felt it was necessary for me to PROVE I was responsible enough not to deface one of these pricey dolls, so in order for them to buy me a particular character, ie- Samantha, I had to first read all of the books associated w/ their time period.), so while I was honing my speed reading skills, I had to get creative with what resources I had available to me at that particular time.
Lucky (our horribly pitiful looking & hateful cat we had while I was growing up) was fortunate enough (hints the name) to bare the brunt of my creativeness, as it pertained to dress-up.  She got to be numerous characters, but for some odd reason, I favored dressing her up like political figures (I had an odd fascination with presidents at the time.  Bahahaha- I was clearly one odd little kid.), so her most notable impersonations were definitely Abraham Lincoln (I used my talking Goofy's clothes, along with pushing her chin fur forward to help pull off the look & really get the full Honest Abe Effect.) 

Trust me, it totally worked.

and also Barbara Bush (Don’t worry, I used a white babydoll dress & Jan’s pearls to accomplish this classy look.)
The best part about this is that a) I grew out of my need to dress up my cats/animals b) people really do legitmately do this with their cats.  I googled a few images & I thought I was gonna die of hysterics, so of course I had to share some with you all.    


Ohhhhh my

   

Puss n Boots, yes?

I can promise you that we do not own one costume or article of clothing for any of our animals, dog included.

-You think its normal that to have kleptomaniacs as pets
Sooo, the first month I was married, one of my wedding bands kept going MIA.  Kevin used to get SO mad at me because he was insistent that I was being irresponsible w/ my new bling while I kept insisting that I put my rings in the same spot everyday and that they were magically disappearing.  Inevitably, we would find the MIA wedding band somewhere random in our house, yet Kevin would swear that I'm just scatterbrained & I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached (ummm, which is unfortunately a fair statement...). Finally, we figured it out. Insert Stella.


Don't let that sweet sleepy face fool you- homegirl has some sticky fingers claws on her.  After finding my wedding band, along with a Tiffanys ring, in her water bowl & watching her play with them, we quickly figured who the lil kitty culprit was. Sooo insane, but hey you have to hand it to her- shes got great taste :)  My actual theory is that since she is my (Ear muffs, Kev) *homely, less intelligent* cat, she will go to great lengths to get ANY attention from us- (positive or negative attention), hints the klepto tendencies.  Her other favorite things to steal is hair bands.  I'm not kidding when I say we found 60+ hair bands hidden in our laundry room earlier this year.  Theres a reason why my hair is rarely in a ponytail these days.  Although we do joke about her sticky claws, I am now fairly concerned that Stella's ways have been a negative influence on Lucy the Diva.  Yesterday, Kevin told me that some "bedazzle" from one of my shirts came off in the dryer, but that I could probably fix it.  So, i went to examine the damage, but the bedazzely piece was nowhere to be found.  Or so I thought.

My Diva protecting the bedazzle with every inch of her fatness. 
We might need to have a cat intervention about their conniving ways.  That behavior is just unacceptable :)

-You get kicks out of watching your cats get high on cat-nip, and then proceed to assess their drunken cat-nip antics.

**No cats were harmed in the making of this video.  I can't help it that they act a fool when they smell cat-nip.**


If you don't have the time to watch, let me give you a brief synopsis over what happens...
We gave 2 of our cats cat-nip.... and then discussed their drunken/high behavior, ie: how one gets super feisty, hateful, and aggressive while high (Charlie Sheen style), while Lucy the diva get the munchies & never strays from the food bowl (Kirstie Alley style).  
As you can probably tell, Wednesday nights are prettttty wild around the Gray Household.  Are you thinking we would probably be able to entertain ourselves in a cardboard box?  Be honest, I probably would think that if I saw us.  Filming our cats.  Like its a normal thing to do.  Bahahahahaha.

-So, just a few more ways you can determine if you MIGHT be a crazy cat lady....

- You have more pictures of your cats than your significant other, friends, or family COMBINED on your phone.
(I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many pictures I have of Lucy on my iphone. Like.. its sad.  Its probably a sign we need to have kids. )

-You don't even get mad when you find your cat laying all over new clothes that have yet to be worn.  Actually, you are more impressed with the fact they sought out a sleeping spot w/ such stylish surroundings. 

-You can't help but feel mildly offended when someone tells you they hate cats.... but then you're also secretly telling yourself that you're positive they would definitely  like your cat.  For sure.  I mean, who wouldn't like a cat diva who loves you enough to try to go places with you??

Yall obvi get the point & now know that I do love my fabulous felines.  And I clearly do exude someeee slight crazy cat lady tendencies, but please know that I really am completely normal.  I just absolutely think it's hysterical there are soooo many funny associations that go along with cats & their owners.  As of right now, I'd like to think I still fall into the less crazy cat lady category.. However, if you ever find me to be dressing up like the picture below, please stage a cat-ervention ASAP. (Thank youuuuuu Linds for this jewel of a pic! xoxoxoxo)
Meeeeeoooooooooowwww
Mmmkay yall- thats it for now!

                                                   

17 comments:

  1. Haha! I am definitely not a cat lover (sorry) but this totally cracked me up!

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  2. Meeeooow.

    Oh.my.good.sweet.lord.

    Carol, you did it again. There are so many things I love about this post. I don't even know where to begin.

    I am rolling.

    Barbara Bush is my favorite story EVER. I think the girls in the office are wondering WHAT is going on back here.

    bahahahahaha you and Linds are SO WHACK! And I love you both!!!

    Great post, very well written my dear. I full as though you pulled me into your cat world.

    xoxox

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  3. oh meow gawd! Let me count the ways that I love this post.

    1) The story of using Goofy to dress your cat as Abe Lincoln and use his fluff of hair as a beard. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I love it.

    2) Barb Bush, duh. We already knew this.

    3) Nick Carter, hahahahhhaha. I want to tweet him that my cat is named after him but he may block me from following him. So I don't dare.

    4)I swear we are the same person. 99% of my birthday cards were booze related. I was like uhhh, does this mean I have a problem? Or I just like to have a good time? I am leaning toward good time.

    oh lordy, I loved this post soooooo much. I had to comment first but I'm about to watch the vid. I can hardly contain my excitement.

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  4. This post is hilarious! You really love cats huh? lol! Though I admit I am not a fan of cats, I still some are still cute. As long as they stay far away from me! Have a great day girl!

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  5. ahahahah Briar (sp?) was my favorite part. Complete tweaker.

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  6. bahahaha! Umm...so I may be a crazy cat lady. I didn't realize it before this post.

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  7. hahahhaa you are hilarious.

    My friend IS a crazy cat lady at the ripe old age of 25... I actually got her a cat wine glasses for one of her bridesmaids gifts. She used it so often she broke it like a month later LOL wow.

    Let me just say...I cannot stand cats. kittens I can do. cats, no thanks. don't hate me now!

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  8. to freaking funny, I am laughing at my desk picturing a cat dressed up as Abe Lincoln AND/OR Barbara Bush... hilarity. and oh my, that last girl DEFINITELY needs an cat-tervention!

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  9. HAHAHAHAHA!! I'm laughing so hard that tears are running down my face! Barbara Bush? Words just cannot describe how amazing that is...

    You could take it to the next level and become a cat-scanner. Just sayin'.

    http://thecatscan.tumblr.com/

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  10. New to your blog and died reading this post. Lincoln and Barbara Bush, I think we'd have probably been quick friends as children, that's for sure.

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  11. I am new to your blog (saw it from Lindsey's tweet) and I love it so far! I have to say that my husband and I have 4 cats. My birthday cards always have cats on them, but my cats don't have people names - well, not exactly. Callie can be a girl's name (she's a calico) as can Autumn (she's orange and we found her on Halloween), and we have a cat named Einstein (who WAS a person). So I didn't purposely give them people names (except Einstein). Maybe I AM a crazy cat lady ... or maybe I'm not. Who cares? I love my kitties, and that's all that matters to me. :)

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  12. Just came across your blog and I'm loving this post. Hahahaha it's sooo true. I have a kitty named Stella! I just might have some crazy cat lady tendencies... maybe. I'm SURE people would love cats too when they meet mine ;) The video is hilarious as well. I've had my cat for about six months and have yet to try cat nip with her. I'm anxious now to see her reaction one day. Excited to be a new follower :)

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  13. hahahahaha loved the video. I remember the first time I came to your alls old house your cats were high on cat nip bahahahaha! :)

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  14. You had me at Abraham Lincoln and "bedazzle". Hysterical...as always! I think I have tears in my eyes.

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  15. Definitely had that picture of Nick hanging up in my room in 1998. Hilarious you named your cat after him!

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  16. your blog always makes me so happy. so obsessed. i hope you had a wonderful weekend. xoxo

    www.fashboulevard.blogspot.com

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