The Weekly Essentials

Since it is Monday, I thought I'd share with yall what I consider to be absolutely Essential in my every day life & how I roll on a weekly basis!

In case yall havent guessed yet, I have a mild addiction to shopping.  However, the irony in my shopping addiction is that it honestly only applies to 2 things....
1) Make-up.  Duh.
AND
2) Clothes.  I am a clothing slut, plain & simple.  The amount of stuff I give away to goodwill on a yearly basis is borderline embarrassing.  Once I find something I like, I then feel the need to buy 2 or 3 of the same thing, except in different colors.  OR if I find something on SALE that I only kind of like, I compulsively purchase it.   Its so not normal. I guarantee if you went in my closet right now, you would find countless items with the tags still on them.  Jan (my momma) swears my closet is her favorite store on earth.
However, interestingly enough, I am a complete creature of habit when it comes to the few items I wear on a daily basis.  It seriously takes an act of congress to get me to change up my every day items.

Lemme show ya...

I'll decode the picture so it makes a bit more sense....

-Clearly, once Louis had recovered from his life-threatening burn incident, I never let him out of my sight.  He's my favorite staple.  Is it wrong I look at LV's as a lifelong investment?  I've tried to convince Kevin that I need a few more & they can be a family heirloom. Hasn't worked yet. Grrrr.

-So, the Tory Burch flats.... Being 5'2 (and that might be me being a tad generous) & one of the younger people in my field, I had completely decided that wearing flats just werent in the cards for me.  Truth be told, I still get witty questions asked to me while at work like- "So, are you sure you're old enough to have a real job?" or snarky comments from competitors, such as "You probably havent been doing this long, have you?"  However, when you combine the fact that I'm a runner AND I'm on my feet all day, every day- I finally caved.  I still wear heels 70% of the time to avoid any condescending age commentary, but believe you me, my feet are supppper happy on the days I wear my flats :)

- The Black & White shirt/Black watch- Yall, my wardrobe lacks color in a serious way, which I never really noticed before i color coded my closet.  I'm not kidding when I say 80% of my clothing is black, white, or gray.  There is very little ROY G BIV happening in my closet.  Wait, lemme go back for a sec....Ha- yes- I did say I  color-coded my closet, but before yall click the X box, don't let me confuse you- I am not in ANY WAY known for my home organization skills.  (Quite the opposite actually- I once lost my phone for 6 hours.  In.My.House.  Kevin finally found it.  In the cat condo. Normal, right?  I bet The Bargain Blonde has done that too.  Maybe while cuddly her cleverly named cat, Nicky (ask her about his namesake- you'll die.). )  The only  reason I color coded my stuff was so I could have a more accurate depiction of the clothes I actually owned.  Now I know where to look for certain clothes, and it compels me to actually hang up my stuff.  Anywho, why the obsession for black & white?  Because its timeless, does with everything, & can be dressed up or down.

I think I own about 7 dresses that look similar to this from WHBM, but hey- if it works for ya, work it hard :)  *Side note: Kevin's response when I buy something new from White House Black Market.. "Yeah babe, looks great. But um, don't you have that same (fill in blank) already?" Me: Ummm, no Kev. Don't you see the tiny subtle pattern difference?  Or the last one was short sleeve & this is 3/4 sleeves.  Come on, get in the game.

Kev: Ohhh, umm, right. I see.?) 

The man deserves a medal for dealing with me. And my shopping addiction. And the fact that hes okay w/ his wife dressing like shes fixing to go to a funeral or prepare for a move to NYC :)  

Continuing on to Jewelry:

I wear approximately 4 pieces of jewelry every single day. 

My 2 Yurman Bracelets- one from my dad, one from Kev.  Love them both, because (you guessed it!) they can go with EVERYTHING & can be dressed up or down.  **Side note- If you can't tell, I favor versatile items.  If I'm gonna spend a pretty penny on something as far as accessories or bags go, you can bet I have weighed every option incessantly & obsessed over it until I've proven to myself that I'll actually use that item on a consistent basis.  Neurotic much, right?  Can't help it- I'm 110% my father's daughter.  Sorry Big P- you know I'm right.)

Anyway, one of the other pieces of jewelry I wear should come as no surprise-- Obviously I'm gonna wear my Engagement ring & wedding bands. (That picture isn't exactly what my engagement ring & wedding bands look like, but it'll have to do the trick- it gives yall a good enough idea though, right?) I will tell you all that as much as I rag on Kev for losing his ring, it is a flippin miracle I haven't lost mine.  I literally take mine off the minute I come through the door- but luckily- I do have all 3 rings banded together to help prevent me from losing any of them (and one of our sweet cats is a huge klepto & kept taking one of the bands, but thats another story.) 

I absolute despise bulky or heavy jewelry, which is probably why I only ever wear studs in my ears.  And not real diamond studs, mind you- I go through faux diamond studs like Cameron Diaz goes through men.  It is a miracle if I hang on to a set for more than a month.

Now as for the few items that are not accessory category that are essential to my every day life.. I'll count them down for ya.

3) My Lilly Planner- This is my bible for work.  It spells out my schedule for the next 4 months, along with any other important dates.  I'm terrible when it comes to remembering bdays, so I have to write them down in the planner. (Yes- i realize they're posted on fb, but I always forget that tiny detail.)  Literally, chances are, if a specific date is not written down in the planner, I won't remember it.

2) iPhone- I've forgotten my phone maybe 3 times in my whole career, and the day was an epic disaster.  I basically go into a panic attack when I can't find my phone too- I act like I've lost a limb when I can't find it. **Side note: I hold onto my phone like it is my child, which is probably the reason I've only misplaced ONE phone in my life.  And when I say misplaced, I mean it was stolen.  At Pet Smart of all places.  I'm convinced that it was stolen by a dog who's owner taught them tricks centering around how to partake in criminal acts. Kevin thinks I'm a moron & asked me to not tell anyone I think that.  Seriously though- I thought people at Pet Smart were all nice, animal lovers like us? Sigh.)

 Since I don't report to a home office, it is my only life line to my customers, co-workers, friends, & fam.  Plus- all my music is on there, along with twitter, fb, pinterest, expedia, etc :)  It entertains me during the long days as well.  (Ps- that is not my current case.  I have a Lilly P one, but its falling apart.  Sooo if you're looking to get rid of that adorbs Kate Spade one, feel free to donate it to my sad iphone.)

1) Diet Coke- I swear I think I have diet coke running through my veins with as much as I drink of it.  I cannot live without it.  Its kind of like Kevin & Pizza- my addiction runs deep :) If I'm upset or moody, the FIRST thing my Dad always asks/tells me "Umm, have you had a diet coke yet?"  Sounds insane, but to his credit, an ice cold DC can completely turn my mood around- Plus, it is my only caffeine fix every day.  The Grays do not do coffee.  Hate the smell, hate the taste, hate everything about it.  To be honest, we don't even own a coffee pot.  To be even more honest, I don't actually have a clue how to make coffee.  Therefore, diet coke it is & always will be.  Morning, noon, and night.  As a tidbit- if you're meeting me in the morning & bring me a large diet coke from McDonalds, we will be best friends for life.  Just in case you were wondering :)

Helllooo Loverrrrrrr.

Anyway, that about does it for me today.  Gotta get in a workout before MY LAST MBA FINANCE CLASS!!!!  No more of the devil class! woooooo!!!!!!   I mean, its put me in the best mood alllll day!
Hahaha, hope yall had a good Monday!

If yall could be a fly on the wall....

When I was growing up, one of my girlfriends always used to say that my family could be on a sitcom because of all the ridiculousness that lived within the confines of our house.  Although I think it was probably her polite way of saying that my family was insanely quirky, I took it to mean that our family conversations were delightfully entertaining.

I can't lie... I was mildly concerned that once I got married, I would lose the "entertaining" aspect from my household of origin.  Believe you me,  I had NOTHING to worry about.


I would almost venture to say that life with Kevin has proved to be almost more entertaining than living with Pat & Jan.  I love my sweet husband more than all the diet cokes I have ever consumed in my life-

This melts my heart.  

 butttttt lemme tell ya, he comes out with some fantastic quotes.  Within the past 3 days, he has come out with questions, such as:

-(As we drive into downtown Indy...) "Hey Carol, who like, started Eli Lilly?"(Really? I have no words.)


-(In the middle of the Wedding reception...) "Do you think Hudson is thinking about us right now & wondering what we're doing?  Don't you kinda wish the would've invited dogs to come?" (I mean, this is a DOG we're talking about.  How insane is this kid gonna be when we produce children?)


-(Right after discussing selling our house in a few years..) Sooo, if we sell our house for MORE than we paid for it, that adds into what your original down payment was? (Yes, Kev- its how you can build up more equity." Ohhh, thats what that means.  Equity, I mean.  (I went onto comment about how this was a prime example of why I question Kentucky education versus Indiana education.  Then he proceeded to tell me that Dunbar is the best high school in the state bc of their accelerated classes.  Now, was he in that program?  Um, no, but he knows it was damn good.)


-(After me discovering he played middle school football...) "Yeah hun, I actually played quite a bit.  I was the kick & punt returner because I was just soooo fast.  Basically, I played exactly like Randall Cobb did for UK.  (For all you non-Kentucky fans, Randall Cobb was one of the best football players UK had seen for awhile & he just went on to the NFL to play. But, don't you worry, I'm sure Kevin could show you his moves bc they just MIMIC what Randall does sooo closely!)

I'm sure Kevin's moves were equally as impressive...

Now, some of his more classic quotes include (but are not limited to...)

-(While trying to convince me to eat pork chops...) "Honey, I mean, at the end of the day, its just lamb you're eating. What do you have against lamb? Its so similar to bacon." (O...M...G)


-(Before we left for one of our best friend's weddings, while trying on a new suit... "CAROLINE!!!! Do you think the Bride is gonna be mad at me? (Why, kev?)  You know, because people might be talking more about how handsome I look in my new suit versus her bridal beauty." (Gotta hand it to him, he doesn't lack much in the confidence department :)  )

-(After me calling to tell him I bought him a new paisley tie...) "OH, thats great babe.  Thanks so much.  Soo.. ummm.. What color is paisley?"

-(During our visit to San Francisco, CA...) "Honey, this is what I picture a 3rd world country to look like..." (Me: Why? Because its dirtier than Lexington?)  "No.. because of the hills & homeless people." (Ohh, the hills & homeless people.. What? on? Earth? Still haven't figured out the rationale behind that one...)

I think this was 2008?

-(His response to me questioning if he should drive after a few cocktails...) "Carol, I drive a PILOT.  It can drive itself, hints the name, duh." (Must be niiiiceeee.)

-(While missing the 1st UK home football game bc it was my best friend's wedding.) "Caroline, I literally feel like something within me is dying.  Its like I'm in a casket, & my pallbearer friends drop me to check a score I can't see. You just don't get it."


-(During the NBA draft when someone random who looked 40 but was really 18 got drafted before Enes K.) "18? Are you SERIOUS? There is NO WAY. Ohhh, well, he's from W. Africa- that explains it. (Me: Huh? why?)  Carol, you know the people in Africa don't know how to read the rules about birth certificates.  I mean, they don't even have food there. So, hes really probably 29 & I'm right." (I wish I could again connect the dots w/ that one... but I'm not even gonna try."


I mean, love his sweet heart.  He is nothing if not endlessly funny to listen to. (Okay yall, in the spirit of transparency, he could probably have written this same post about some of the blonde comments I make, butttt he doesn't have a blog, sooooooo.... sorry doll. xoxoxo)


In all honesty, we might not always have the perfect marriage or life, but I can tell you one thing, we sure do laugh a lot.  And maybe its naive, but I think if you can keep your sense of humor & laugh about things, even during the bad times, you can probably get through just about anything.
Okay yall, thats about it for me.  Talk soon!

A Very Merry Un-Birthday

**I'd like to preface this post with 2 things. #1- I wrote this out by hand during my MBA Finance class from hell, while not only faux listening to my hottie (but painfully boring. Sigh. What a waste of hotness. ) teacher drone on about Cash Budgeting but also while entering work calls.  Hows that for multi-tasking?  #2- I got permission from Kevin before I wrote this post, so don't think I'm really throwing him under the bus.  Yall know, anything I put on here, I've probably already said to him directly at some point in time. Ha- Homeboy knows I love him**

So, lets discuss my birthday.  Judging by what I wrote about in my last post, I bet yall were 20 kinds of impressed with the hubs gift-giving skills, right?  Like it was one of those birthdays where I was showered with presents all day?
Wrong.  That post was beyond misleading.
So, now is when I will tell you all about how Kevin managed to monumentally screw up my birthday, yet has somehow lived to tell about it.

On my actual birthday, he got home from work, & proceeded to ask what we were doing for dinner. Ummmm.. seriously?  Way to plan ahead, Kev.  Obviously, our lack of plans made for an unpleasant Caroline, so I left in a huff to go to the gym, in attempts of regaining my birthday glory.  Luckily, he had redeemed himself by the time I got home & had made reservations at Malones (for all you non-Kentuckians, Malones is a steak/sushi/appetizer place.  One of the best restaurants in Lexington.).
It goes without saying that I anticipated a fantastic gift during our dinner, since he had yet to present me with anything yet.  So, when he slide an envelope with "Caroline" written on the front, I was beside myself with excitement.

Once he handed it to me, I thought I KNEW exactly what it had to be because it felt like there were papers inside of it.  I just KNEW he had surprised me with a trip to VEGAS!!!!  Kevin had a trip planned to go to Vegas for a bachelor party for the week following my birthday, and he knew I had been begging to go on a summer trip.  Plus, I had been dropping hints about how cheap the airfare/hotels were out there this time of year- what a perfect birthday present.  Or not.
This is what I found when I opened the envelope.

No, that isn't money to go gambling with.  And no, there was no plane ticket inside the envelope.  That was my present.  Juuuuustttt cash.  From our JOINT Checking account.  


Sooo romantic, right?  If I remember correctly, the dating book, The Rules, tells you to seriously re-evaluate your relationship if a guy doesn't give you something thoughtful for your birthday.  Unfortunately, that book only applies to dating.  There is no instruction guide on how to react when your husband clearly hit "yes" to the cash-back option at Target for your birthday gift.  I mean, come on KEV.  I sort of thought I was being Punk'd.  But alas, I wasn't, so needless to say, I turned into a basket-case during dinner.  I mean, full on tears, hiccuping, hands over face break-down. Actually-I may or may not have even thrown out The Rules comment at some point during that breakdown. Who am I kidding? I definitely did. The guilt-trip was ON like Donkey Kong.  
Side note- I feel awful for that waiter.  Poor kid had no clue what kind of hot mess he walked into.  Kev, I hope you gave him a legit tip.  Bless his heart.


So then Kevin "claims" he tried to get a gift card at Franchescas, but they were out of them? Umm hmm. okay, sure.  So, putting cash into an envelope seemed like a good plan B?   I mean, I guess maybe he over-exerted himself- maybe remembering the pin number on his replacement debit card took all of his energy, so he couldn't get past the ATM? Ohhhh boy, where did we go wrong with you? Cash?  Really? Lets seriously evaluate this though-  literally, the only actual gift I opened on my real birthday was an Elton John Greatest Hits CD from a male nurse in one of my offices (Yall know I can't make this stuff up.  And yall also know, this gift rocked my world.) 
So, now that I have ragged on him at an exponential rate, I have to tell ya, In all seriousness, I think he realized he had royally screwed up the minute he saw my face after opening my cash-laden envelope (or maybe he was just horrified by my meltdown & was contemplating hiding under the table...regardless, I think he felt bad.).  

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but one of the things I love most about Kevin is his ability to do amazing damage control.  His thoughtfulness sometimes astounds me. Not only did he come through in a big way with post Birthday presents, but I also found this little number waiting for me in my car the morning after he got back from Vegas.

Why hello Tory B!

Not gonna lie, finding a Tory Burch bag in my car can & will make me forgive anyone for just about anything.  Especially when I find this inside the bag!

Well played, Kev.  Well played.  

Thats it for now yall!

5 Things I'm obsessed with Wednesdayyyy!

I know. I know- I've been a horrendous blogger lately.  But I've also been a super busy blogger lately--With additional responsibilities at work & the never-ending Finance Class from hell, free moments to blog have been few & far between.  Let me just elaborate a tad further...
I still love my work & job, so no worries- its all good!  A few months ago, I was asked to take on the task of organizing the 2011 United Way Campaign efforts for my work area (comprised of about 5 States), which was such a complete surprise & honor.  My first interaction with the United Way came in the 2nd grade.  At the time, our playground was beyond outdated, so no child in a wheel chair could leave the sidewalk to come play during recess.  Long story short, we ended up getting donated an amazingly fabulous (& wheel-chair accessible) new playground from the United Way.  I mean, as a 2nd grader, the United Way instantly became the equivalent of Santa Claus in my eyes.

 So, for obvious reasons, I've remained incredibly passionate about the United Way, & whole-heartedly support everything they do.  And if you don't believe me, please note the Save-the-Date magnet design posted above that is being sent to everyone in my area.  As a point of reference, I didn't even do Save- The- Dates for my own wedding- thats how much I love this organization. Actually, I am 110% sure that my team thinks I have turned into a deranged Cheerleader because I am so excited about it, but I am oddly comfortable with that title if it gets them to be more involved. (Believe you me, If you have any doubts about what they do, please please please email me.  I can detail you up & down about them!)

Sooo in other news..., I am convinced my MBA is trying to kill me.  My teacher (*Ear Muffs, Kevin*) is insanely handsome, has admitted to being a bad boy in a past life, & has a thick Southern accent, so listening to his lectures feel like I'm hearing Matthew McConoughey address the jury in "A Time to Kill." So, whats the problem? Homeboy can drone on & on & on & on & on about bonds until the cows come home.  Literally, I think my 2.5 year old niece could understand YTM, coupon rates, & NPV at this point bc he has run it into the ground.  To make matters worse, I get the distinct feeling he dislikes me.  I can't tell if hes annoyed that I actually understand the concepts (which-btw- is ridic because I did double-major in Mgt & Mkt in college, so UK would have some explaining to do to my parents if I didn't understand them), OR if he is irked that I "take notes" on my computer during his lectures (And by take notes, I mean- check twitter, price out trips on Expedia, shop on Etsy etc.).  Regardless, I seriously dread going to class every Monday.  Such a shame too, because I really think the teach & I would've been great friends in a past life, ya know- during his days as a Sigma Chi w/ him getting PI citations & such.  Now, not so much.

So, enough about my life... lets talk about what I am currently obsessed with:
1) My Birthday Necklace from the Hubs

Description from R-L: Citrine stone, Heart disc w/ Kentucky on it, Rec disc w/ our wedding date, Round disc w/ my monogram, & lastly, a pearl to finish off the look.

OMG. Obsessed!  How incredibly beautiful is this???  For whatever reason, he prefers to buy me unique jewelry vs. pieces that everyone has (ie: Yurman- although he has caved on that. twice. And don't even get him started on how terrible he thinks Pandora is. He'll go on for days...), so when we spotted a similar necklace at a horse show, he was hell bent on trying to find something just like it.  Mission accomplished with the FABULOUS Made By Sam Etsy shop.

Another example from Sam's Etsy shop. Soooo adorable!

Her designs are so beyond anything I've seen in Kentucky.  They can literally put anything on the discs & also personalize every other aspect to be customized to your liking (ie, shapes, chain, stones).  Very reasonably priced & they are incredibly prompt with their delivery! I have worn it every day since getting it in the mail, and I have gotten at least 5 compliments every day.  (Can't lie- huge ego booster on a bad day :)  ) Anywho, You must get one immediately (And tell them I sent ya!)- I promise you'll love it.

2) Spray Anti-Bacterial Pen?

Ummm, where have you been all my life?  Being around sick people all day, averaging between 9-10 medical office visits daily, I am absolutely stunned that I just found out about this little gem.  HOLY CONVENIENTNESS! No, it doesn't smell as fantastic as your perfume, but for $1.76, your immune system will thank you!

3) Whole Foods Wine Shop

I LOVE wine.  You know what I love even more?  FREE WINE!  Bet you didn't know that your local Whole Foods does a wine tasting every Thursday, Friday, & Saturday from 4-8pm? I'm not talking about tasting 1 sip & calling it a "tasting," either.  I'm talking 4-5 different wines, complete with the most knowledgeable staff who can help you find something in your budget that fits your taste, and topped off with a taste of a popular liquor (Ie: Last week, it was SKINNY GIRL MARGs!).  Seriously, take advantage.  I do.  Weekly :)

4) My new hotel-like Mirror

Also a Birthday gift from the hubs.  I have yet to come to terms with the amazingness of this being installed in my bathroom, complete with light.  I also have yet to figure out how I ever lived without this in my life, especially given my over-the-top fetish with eye make-up.  Oh, & don't worry, this little number has totally & completely given new life to my eye liner addiction.  I am more obsessed with eye-liner than ever bc I can critique each one so much better in the 50x magnifying glass, which brings me to #5.

5) Covergirl Liquiline Blast Eyeliner

So I honestly have made no excuses or apologies for my snottiness in make-up.  9 times outta 10, if its not from Sephora or Ulta, I probably won't buy it.  However, Jan (mi madre) came to visit this weekend, and turned me onto these covergirl liners.  Lets be honest, Jan shops at Walgreens for all of her cosmetic needs, so I was extremely doubtful she could teach me in anything pertaining to make-up, especially eye-liner.  Guess who got schooled? THIS GIRL.  This stuff is fantastic- goes on smooth, stays on all day, and for only $7.50, you can have your very own.  Apparently, you should only buy liners that are made in Germany- Jan tells me that "The Today Show" (aka jan's version of the voice of authority) was insistent that Germany-made eyeliners have the best quality, stay on longer, etc. Can't lie- so far she is right.

To close, I promise my blog slacking has come to an end.  I will up my blogger game :) But yall, thats it for now, so we'll talk soon!

When Kentucky met Maryland

I feel it is necessary to start out this post by giving an explanation as to why my geography knowledge is so limited.  I have only had exactly ONE Geography class my whole life, and it was in the 8th grade.  To make matters worse, our teacher, Mrs. M, was assumed to be an alcoholic.  If this tells you anything, we watched the same movie for 3 months at one point.  (Would it impress you to know that I can still sing the theme song to that movie???)  Needless to say, my geography skills are extremely lacking.

Anyway, I had to take a work trip last week to Maryland.  Historically, my work area (ie-Kentucky) has always been grouped with Southern States, like Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, etc.  Now, we are in an area with Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Washington D.C., & parts of Delaware.  Attending meetings used to be just a quick drive away, but now they're a plane ride away.  I pretty much LOVE it because I get to experience a part of the US that I've never seen before.  However, I am 110% sure that our area gets an absolute kick out of us Southerners because we are such fish outta water up in their homeland.  Last week's meeting was an extremely small meeting, so there were only 2 of us from Kentucky that went, but I think our little Duo was all they would have been able to handle. Thank God I did not have to go alone, because after reading this post, you'll agree with me in thinking they would have thought I was straight special if I had been left up to my own devices.

Meet Brittany.

Natural beauty, right? I love her 2nd grade style. Please note she's wearing a cat sweatshirt.  Its no wonder we're friends. 

Okay, meet Britt for real.

Brittany & I were the only ones from Kentucky on this trip.  To say we are 2 peas in a pod would be a vast understatement.  Her & I pretty much stay in hysterics every time we are together or are on the phone.  Love this girl & can't imagine work without her.  I wasn't sure if our counterparts were quite ready for us & the hilarity that ensues with our mildly ignorant innocent comments. 

Please let me provide some examples of the solid entertainment we gave our East Coast counterparts at this past meeting...

Example #1: We had a conference call a few days prior to our last meeting to discuss our meeting agenda.  When asked about how we were getting from the Baltimore Airport to St. Michaels (our meeting destination), both Britt & I reply with "Oh, we'll just cab it.  Its no biggie."..... And then we were met with dead silence. Like you could hear a pindrop silence. Then someone says "Ladies, you all realize St. Michaels is about 1.5 hours away, right?"  Us, "Oh, it's not right outside of Baltimore? Well, umm. hmmmmm?"  Seriously? Who doesn't map out where the meeting location is? Our cab ride would have literally ended up costing about as much as our flights.  Clearly Britt shares my limited geography skills.  
Example #2: We ended up having a counterpart pick us up from the airport.  During the ride, we crossed over this little number.

So of course I ask, "Sooo, what state are we in now?"  Because in Kentucky if you cross over a bridge, you're in another state. Duh.  The driver gave me a look & said, "This is the Chesapeake Bay Bridge."  Me," Right, so what state does it take you too?"  The driver "Umm, Maryland.  The Chesapeake Bay is just in Maryland, Caroline."  Classic.  This is coming right after our fabulous driver was talking about how Wilmington bordered Maryland.  My comment? "Oh my gosh, I didn't realize North Carolina was so close!!. Wilmington, NC was where they filmed One Tree Hill & Dawson's Creek.  They probably like it because its on the coast. "  Dead silence.  Driver says, "Um, The Wilmington I'm talking about is in Delaware because Delaware borders Maryland."  OMFG. I am completely geographically illiterate.


Example #3: Even I know that Maryland is known for their crabcakes, so obviously we went to a seafood restaurant for dinner while we were there.  This might sound ridiculous but I have never had a harder time ordering food somewhere.  When it came time for me to order, I was persauded into ordering their seafood sampler, so I could try everything.  Okay- easy enough!  Then, the waitress went on to ask me how I preferred the various food to be prepared.  I just tell her "Oh you know, the normal way?"  The waitress responds with, "Let me just give you the different options." Then I swear the waitress went on about the 80 different ways they can prepare crab, oysters, shrimp, etc.  It was very reminiscent of listening to Bubba from Forest Gump.  



I then got wayyy too flustered to even answer because everyone was looking at me, waiting for me to make a decision, so I just blurted out "Ummmm... fried?" Typical Southern Response, right?  I just obviously wanted to make sure I sufficiently clogged up my arteries that night.

Example #4: Wedding crashers did not exaggerate East Coasters love for sailing.  At all.  I just conveniently forgot that aspect of the movie.  Almost immediately upon arrival, our peers began discussing their love for being on the water.  I also love being on the water in the summer, so I ask, "Ohhh, so what kind of boats do yall go out on?  Speed boats? House boats?  Or pontoon boats?"  I was promptly looked at like I had 7 heads.  Response? "Ohhh, no.  Honey, we go sailing."   Well, of course you do.  We're in Maryland after all.  Duh Caroline.  Lucky for me, we ended up going out on a sailboat a little bit later so us Kentucky girls got to see what the fuss is all about.  

I'M ON A SAILBOAT!

I took about 15 pics that look exactly like this because I was so utterly fascinated.

Not going to lie, sailing does have an extra element of class that pontoon boats just can't quite reach.  I mean, how many lake boats motor back to a place like this after a day on the water?  

As you can see, there were no pontoon boats at this dock.  Shocking, right? hahahaha

So even after all my ridiculous commentary, I find it hysterical that all of our counterparts are pleading to come to Kentucky for their next meeting.  Lets be honest here, I can't really blame them- horse racing & bourbon? Why wouldn't they want to come here ?  :)  I have a hard time believing they'll have as many off the wall questions as I did, but I'm going to console myself with the assumption that there is one "special" person in every crowd, and last week- it just happened to be me :) Okay yall, thats it for now.

My Little Kicks

I have a fairly off beat sense of humor.  I find hilarity in the most random things.  I can't help it- it runs in my family.  Kevin swears we all find the most ridiculous stuff funny.  One thing we all share a love for is corny jokes.  For example:

"Why don't cannibals eat clowns?"
     Answer: Because they taste funny. Bahahahahahahahaha.


I know you all are rolling hysterically on the ground right now, right? I know, I know- I'm a riot.  Oh don't worry, I've got more where that came from.

Momma Bear, Papa Bear, and Baby Bear went on a picnic.  Momma bear tells Papa Bear & Baby Bear that she still has some stuff she needs to get situated out, so they can play around the park until she gets finished setting up the food, blanket, etc.  So, about 15 minutes later, Momma Bear yells "Papa Bear... Baby Bear... Time for our lunch."
Well, Papa Bear was quite hungry, so he came back to their picnic setup in a hurry.  However, Baby Bear was still nowhere to be found.  Momma Bear & Baby Bear grew worried & began searching the park, yelling "Babbbbyyyyy Bearrrr... Babbbyyy Bearrrrr..." over & over.  THEN, out of nowhere, Baby Bear comes running from over the hill, waving his hands back & forth, hollering "RADIO!!!!! RADIO!!!!!!"
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Question- how many times did yall read that & then question if you missed something?  Seriously.. how many?  The point of the joke is that there is absolutely no point.  It is absolutely my #1 favorite joke to tell with one of my family members.  9 times out of 10, when you & your co-conspirator start laughing at the end of the joke, the third party will immediately join in to laugh with you.  Then it gets even funnier because you know there is absolutely no point, yet they don't know that & they're literally laughing to act like they get this stupid joke.  I'd be lying to yall if I said I wasn't laughing right now, thinking of how many people my Dad & I have told that joke to.  I'm not kidding, I am beside myself with laughter as I type.  (Don't worry, you won't offend me if you think I'm a tard.  I understand that I have the maturity of 3rd grader, and I'm cool with it.)

Anywho, since Kevin doesn't always share my love of super funny jokes (Shocking, right?), I obviously have to look for other ways to entertain myself.
Let me introduce you to People of Walmart.com- (these next images are all taken at various Walmarts from across our great country. God Bless the USA.)  

Next Glamour Shot Outfit for sure!!!

I think he was torn on which look to go for... Garden Vixen or Black Tie Attire?

Homeboy has clearly never heard of the term "manscaping." Bless his heart.  Lets just hope there are razors in that cart.  After all, the heat index in KY today is supposed to be 110, but for this gentlemen, its probably 115.  

In all fairness, I probably could have been prominently featured on Peopleofwalmart.com after a particularly rough night, but so far, I've been lucky & managed to fly under the radar :) Phew. Thank goodness.

Now, if you find humor in the idiot decisions of others, let me also introduce you to Texts From Last Night.com.

**SIDE NOTE: To Big P & Jan: I would probably strop reading this post right now.  I will most likely get a lecture about how this site is only funny to people that have a low intelligence level & that you are appalled by the language/content on there.  So, lets just bypass that & you all click the little X button. Mmkay, thanks. Love you. **

These next texts are 100% real & 100% sent from someone who probably had consumed 8+ cocktails when the text message was sent.  As a fair warning, these texts get pretty crude & in appropriate, so if you're easily offended, I probably wouldn't venture to this website.

So, heres just a random sampling of texts from TFLN that provide you with a pretty good indication of what this website is all about....

(256): I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self. http://tfl.nu/pw1v

(207): Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america. http://tfl.nu/yc3t

(909): Talking to a male stripper.  About the LSAT.  Only in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/i4ub

(317): I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30. http://tfl.nu/4yw7

(843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r

(805): I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a b***h or something. http://tfl.nu/b077

(406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo

(409): You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate. http://tfl.nu/kfhp

As you can see, the texts are pretty over the top & mildly obscene, but thats what makes them so funny.  I think this website does 3 things extremely well.

1) Reiterates the point that under NO circumstances should you ever (and i mean EVER) send text messages while under the influence.  You will inevitably wake up with an immense feeling of regret and/or embarrassment.  (Not that I'd know or anything :)  I'm just looking out for you all!
2) Makes you feel better about your own life.  Seriously, the majority of the texts that are posted on there are insanely sloppy, and the only people I know who would actually send texts like that are either still in college, under the age of 21, or complete alcoholics.
3) Provides mindless entertainment for hours.  You could literally spend your whole day skimming through these ridiculous texts, and I guarantee you will be laughing at the site the whole time.  Basically because you will continue to be utterly amazed by the people OR situations that the texts reference.

Hahahahaha- Clearly I wasn't lying when I said I have an off beat sense of humor :)  However, if none of these things were able to have gotten at least a little smile or laugh out of you today, then I just can't help ya!  When I'm in a bad mood, these are my sure-fire go-tos to help perk me up.  I highly recommend them the next time you're in need of a good laugh :)
Well gang, thats it for now!

Its Vacay Time in the Bluegrass....

Napa Trip -Circa 2009

So, I live to travel.  I love love love love trips.  Literally, the last time Kevin & I got home from a trip, I tried to convince him to book another one to Naples within 3 hours of returning home.  My parents were (and still are) very into traveling, which is probably the reason why I think I need to take a trip every few months.  I honestly visit Expedia.com, Travelocity.com, and Kayak.com on a daily basis to find those hard-to-pass up travel deals.  I've gotten pretty talented at it too- I once booked a 5 day trip for Kevin & I to San Fran/Napa for a grand total of $720
 (Yes, that is flight & hotel.
 And no, we did not stay at a hostel, brothel, or campground to get that price.  Bahahaha. Me? Campground? Yeah right.  My idea of roughing it is staying at a Holiday Inn.)  So, you ready for the irony in this???

...... I am a complete homebody.  I crave structure & get grumpy without it.  My vacations aren't like most people's vacations.... For starters, I like to work out on vacations.  I prefer to eat my normal breakfasts & lunches because otherwise it'll throw my stomach into a whirlwind of hurting.  (My stomach is definitely comparable to that of a senile 82 year old senior citizen.  It hurts when I eat almost anything.  Big thanks to Big P (my dad) for that little genetic gem.)  I even go to bed at my normal time (or before) on vacations.  Kevin swears I turn into a drill sergeant on vacay because I prefer to keep everything (including my workouts) on a time schedule.  I tend to stress if I think my structure is going to be messed with.

And yall, honestly I do great like in this structured type of vacay for a couple days & even manage to enjoy some time off of work.... but then, I start missing home.  Namely- my bed, my puppy, and the Diva.  Sad part of it is, this need to be at home & sleep in my own bed started when I was a toddler.  On occasion, my parents would be lenient on our bedtime while having friends over, in which case my brother would also still be up, undoubtedly wrecking havoc in the house too, yet I inevitably would find my Mom or Dad & BEG them to take me up to my bed.

Oh don't worry, as time progressed, I got even more neurotic about missing home & sleeping arrangements.  For example, when I would host OR attend sleepovers, parents would come down to check on us girls late night, only to find that I had bounced.  (Calm down, I didn't try to walk home or anything weird like that.  They would always either up to my own bed or the host's bed, but regardless, I'm sure it was pretty startling the first few times it happened.)  Someone please tell me they did this too.  Anyone?.... Seriously anyone?.... Bueller?

Another prime example of my need for a routine/inability to relax on any vacation or trip is perfectly demonstrated in the picture below.  

Yes, that is me being one with my work computer.  Doing an expense report & program scheduling in the middle of a bachelorette party just screams "Life of the Party," yes?  Again, I am obviously one super cool chick.  Not.  I also may or may not also be guilty of getting on conference calls & checking voicemails while literally being on the beach.  (PS- I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown on my honeymoon because I couldn't dial in to check my work voicemail.  As a fair warning, Voicemail does NOT work in Mexico.  Believe me, I hunted down every employee I possibly could at our resort to resolve this issue & had zero luck. Lesson Learned- if you're obsessive about your job, stay in the U.S.)  While Kevin calls it insane, I call it multi-tasking.  Getting my tan on while conducting business??  Seems like a win-win to me :)

The next trip on the Docket is actually for work, which suits me just fine.  I'll be doing a brief little stint next week at this shack in Maryland. 

Its tough, but I guess I'll stay at the place they filmed Wedding Crashers for a few days.  I do great on these trips because I stay on a schedule, work gets done, and they are all less than 5 days.  Lets just pray that I don't go MIAwhile trying to locate the best bed possible, or better yet- that I don't wake up to creepy Todd Cleary trying to paint me :)

Obviously, I know my homebody tendencies aren't exactly, ummm, normal, so I've tried to figure out why I am always dying to come home from vacation.  Heres what I've come up with...

1) I like to be in control, so doing things on other peoples' schedules drives me insane.
2) I absolutely adore what I get to come home to (ie, my fabulous hubby, sweet puppy Hudson, our beautiful house, and my crazy kitties.) & feel most like myself at home.



**Side note- I was oddly obsessed with Wizard of Oz from age 1-4 years old.  I'm now highly suspicious there might be a direct correlation with my homebody preferences & this movie.  Seriously, think about it.  Here Dorothy is, transplanted in this magical place, and all she can think about is getting home.  Surely the possibility exists that her ridiculous need to leave the Yellow Brick Road & Oz was projected onto me & permanently ingrained into my brain, right?  Then again, I know some of my friends watched Barney & none of them have shown ANY signs of having their travel preferences based solely upon what they learned from his show (ie: traveling in a goofy hat while partaking in that particular means of transportation, or singing ridic songs while on a plane.)  Hmmm. Dang, I thought I was onto something for a second. Maybe I'm just an oddball. 

I guess the long & short of it is this: While I absolutely adore traveling & exploring new places, I think Dorothy said it best, "There is No Place like Home." 

Okay guys, thats it for now :)