So last Friday, I get home only to be met by not just one, but TWO of the neighborhood mothers. I am thinking to myself, "Oh fantastic. This conversation looks promising. Not." Keep in mind that I am extremely time crunched because I had to get up to Indianapolis for a bachey party (Chronicled in full by Pink Lou Lou). So these 2 women literally come into my garage the moment I pull in & approach me with concerned faces. Conversation went as follows:
Neighbor 1: "Caroline, we need to have a conversation about your cats."
Me: " Oh? What about them? "
Neighbor 2: "Well, one of them brutally attacked one of the baby birds in one of our trees. My children have been in complete devastation all day. We havent been able to leave the house out of fear that YOUR cat might come back again & repeat this act. So we've been keeping a close, protective watch on the nest since then."
Me: Thinking to myself- Is this lady for real? How am I fighting the urge to hysterically laugh right now. I mean, does she want me to ground them? How do i respond to this?? So my response was "Oh. Gosh. Ummm. I'm sorry? Ummm?"
Neighbor 1: "So what S is saying is that her & her family would appreciate if you kept your cats inside from now on so we can avoid any more of these instances."
Me: "Ummm. Well, I'll try my best, but they are cats. They want to be one with nature. They'll be kept inside this weekend because Kev & I will both be gone, but after that, I'll ummm... try? I guess? You know there are other neighborhood cats, right? "
Neighbor 2: "Yes, please do keep them because I don't want my kids to experience any more of those traumatic experiences. No- we are positive it was your cat because we see her wandering the neighborhood CONSTANTLY, so odds are it was her."
Me: "Oh, um. Ok. Well, I have to go now. I'll keep an eye on them?"
To say I was completely bewildered/crestfallen/horrified is a vast understatement. I seriously felt like they came over to attack my animal parenting skills. I mean, are other neighbors talking about our animals being complete menaces the neighborhood? I felt instant panic at the thought of me being a complete failure as a mother. Is this how Dina Lohan feels on a daily basis? Good god, I should send her a card because I completely under-estimated how that disappointment/horrification feels. Side note- don't children kind of need to learn about animal life cycles at some point? How do they explain roadkill to their kids? Or death in general? Or maybe their type of home-schooling just doesn't cover those subjects until later? Gosh, I just don't know.
So of course, I call Kevin to vent my frustrations because I am so incredibly stunned by this occurrence on so many levels.
"They asked you if we could keep our cats inside? A better question would be "Why haven't you shown your kids The Lion King?" Its the Circle of Life, good god. If they would have came to me with that BS, I would have had to have said, "Do you even know who Rafiki is? Circle of Life. Learn it & leave my cats alone. Thanks." Then, I would have held up Stella on the top of of our porch, while singing the Circle of Life Song to reiterate my point. Don't worry, I'll handle it next time."
Ummm, is this my real life? I married that. Who's jealous? Bahahaha if you're not, then you should be, because I went from being in almost tears to giggling uncontrollably. Now, I'm just fighting the urge to sing the song every time I pass by their house.
So Dina Lohan, if you are reading this, just remember ONE thing. Apparently, the key to dealing with people criticizing your children is to just bark a lesson learned from a Disney Movie. My husband swears it will work. To give him some credit- the boy does get along with everyone, so maybe he's on to something. Hahaha. Alright, yall have a wonderful Memorial Weekend!! Thats it for now!