Thursday, May 19, 2011

Life Lessons from Lucy the Diva

Due to popular demand, I have decided that it is absolutely necessary to chronicle the Life of Lucy the diva.  In case you don't know who this charismatic character is, she is my youngest cat.  Also known as my favorite cat. (So mean, right? I'm convinced that my blatant favoritism is the primary reason why the other 2 cats immensely dislike her. OMG. What if I'm like that with my real children? Great, another thing for me to worry about with getting preggo.)

However, before I get into what I learn from this prima donna pussy cat, we first need to comment on the NEW BLOG DESIGN!!!!!!  On a scale of 1-10, how spectacular is the new layout?? What is that you say? An 18? Yes, I think so too.  Again, HUGE shout out to  Jenn at Munchkinland Designs for not only understanding my vision & carrying it out to completion, but also dealing with my countless obsessive emails throughout the process.  She is an absolute dream to work with!

So, back to Lucy, my luscious load of a feline... This cat has the most ridiculous personality of any cat I've ever been around.  She's cuddly, needs a ton of attention, adorable, princess-like, but she can also be rather moody, persnickety, & high maintenance. My delightful husband likes to say that Lucy's personality mirrors her mothers (Ahem... that'd be me).  So, he's saying she's perfect, right? ha. Yeah, right. Honestly though, if he compared me to Stella, our less than intelligent and homely cat, I'd be highly offended.  (Bless her little heart. PS- Yall do know the "Bless her heart" rule, right? You're allowed to say ANYTHING about anyone if you throw in a "Bless their heart" afterwards.  It completely erases the negativity of the comment.  Example: Susie gets around & is a heinous B word. Bless her heart. - The Bless her heart totally negates the previous statement.  This could EASILY be my favorite Southern Rule & I exercise it often.  Okay, daily.)
 Anywho, as you can imagine, Lucy the Diva gets a lot of attention from my friends because... well.. She demands it when she fatses into the room.  So, my hilarious friend Allie (aka THE Pink Lou Lou) & I consistently have conversations about the ridiculous behavior of Lucy (along with convos about the ridiculousness of her pug, Sadie Belle- A diva in her own right.), and we determined that the world could really learn a lot from Lucy's behavior, and would be a better place because of her teachings. So here we go in to Life Lesson #1 from a Diva.........

As I've mentioned in previous posts, we also have a dog, Hudson.  Bless his sweet heart- he is rather, ummm..spirited in everything he does.  He wants to be everyone's best friend, and he honestly gets upset if someone doesn't like him.  Happiest Dog Alive. Anyway, he LOVES playing with Lucy because she's our only cat that will actually race around the house with him.  However- she only likes to do so on HER TERMS.  From the moment I walked in the door tonight, Hudson was in a rambunctious mood, and was chasing Lucy around like a mad man.  She hissed a few times, but it didn't derail him. Not one bit.  Then she opted to viciously growl & swat at him anytime he approached her to join in his rowdy fun.  Again- homegirl was not having it.  Being the sensitive puppy that he is, Hudson proceeded to cry/bark/make awkward sounds with Lucy's unwillingness to play. SO loud. SO annoying.  Things finally calmed down when we had dinner, & we both commented about how nice the silence was.  We figured Lucy had finally gotten pissy enough w/ Hudson's madness to have found a prime hiding spot upstairs away from him.  By this time, 20-1 odds say that Lucy's thoughts went something like this, "Hudson, good lord child, can you not tell that I need my beauty rest after capturing 2 mice outside last night?  What have you done to contribute lately other than chew our Mom's beloved JSimps heels? Idiot. To hell with you if you aren't going to leave me alone.  I'll just sneak upstairs & find a new Francesca's dress to sleep on.  I achieve my favoritism through preserving mom's new clothes by sleeping on them & giving them a nice fur sheen. Maybe you should try it sometime, moron. Ciao." However, we then walked into our living room to see this....
Yes, that is Lucy the Diva, and Yes, that is her holding Hudson's toys captive.  You have to hand it to her.  She held it together (for the most part), got devious, and hit him where it hurt.  The pups was negative happy when he saw this scene.  He instantly went over to her, laid down next to her, & licked her paw.  I'm pretty sure that in the animal world, that is a pretty solid apology.  Diva proved her point in a big way w/ the her little toy hoarding maneuver.... So, what did we learn?

Lucy Lesson #1: If someone makes you mad, always keep your cool.  If you choose to retaliate, do so in a strategic manner.  During this process, you will provoke a genuine apology from the perpetrator. 

As you can tell, we can all benefit from behaving like Lucy (aside from her excessive eating habits, but that's another story...).  
One last tidbit- Since my kitty showed her crafty/calculating side, I felt like this was absolutely necessary because Lucy would totally do this if she worked to increase her literacy.
I'm aware I have an off beat sense of humor, but I laugh every time I see this :)  Okay, thats it for now!


  1. OMMMMGGGGGGGG the new blog design is FABULOUS! I love it! So you, So cute, and SOOOO fun! On the scale it is def a 23! HA! Diva is a mess, her and Frankie and Sadie-Bell and The Bean really could have their own reality show I believe. "Bless her heart" is my favorite thing to say and you're right, the best time to say it is when it is negating a negative hahaha :) Miss you, XO.

  2. 1. I also live by the "bless her hear" rule and we could have used a lot of bless her hearts, last night during our text convo over Satan's mistressy behavior.
    2. I love this post so much, it has made my day. My only request is that next time can we please get a video blog entry from Lucy? I think she is smart enough to do that.
    3. I heart Glee more than words.

    I am so excited to spend weekend with you.

    That is all.

    heart heart.

  3. This is probably the funniest blog I've ever read! LOVE IT!!!!

  4. Hilarious!! And the blog design is FABULOUS! I am in the process of a blog design with Jenn and this makes me 100 times more is absolutely gorgeous!

  5. That story is too funny. Gotta love sibling rivalry.
    I'm about to be a new follower.

  6. awww I love kitty cats :) Love your blog!