Grumppopotamos & the need for a Teen Mom Intervention

Yall... I've been in maaajjjahhh a funk this week, and as a result this has been me.....

Due to the deadly combination of ridiculous stress, anxiety, & just some plain ole sucky news, I have been transformed into Debbie Downer (although with better fashion sense & better hair, I hope).  I'm pretty sure that Kevin is convinced that enduring a double root canal & a Gilmore Girls Marathon has got to be more fun than hanging out me these past few days.  Between work, school, family stuff, & realizing I don't have a free weekend until late August, I started on the vicious downward spiral of self-pity, which hasn't been a pretty sight.  However, like I've said before, I am basically a certifiable nutcase if I don't get my workout in on a daily basis, so even if the world is coming to an end (in my eyes or in real life), you better bet I'm going to get that workout in, just because I know it'll help my mood.



As a side note: Now, although I may threaten violence on my ridiculous husband from time to time, the above clip proves why I'd never lay a hand on him.  Because....Happy people just don't shoot their husbands.  They just don't :)


Although I was 110% positive I was still going to be buying a one way ticket on the pissy train to blah-land when I returned, I did decide to go on a run around the neighborhood.  In the spirit of transparency, I really just wanted to be alone to get my pity party on, without judgement.  As I was running up a large hill, I noticed this other girl runner, with uber long, skinny legs, on the other side of the street.  She was taking this hill at a muuuuch faster pace than me (And making it look super easy. What a wench.), which was surprising because usually I can rock & roll on some hills.  (My mom towers over me with her long legs, but I always always always beat her on hills. Sorry Jan.) So with this girl, I really could NOT get over quick she was, considering how skinny & long her legs were.  Of course, being my hyper competitive self, I attempted to pick up my pace & beat her up that hill, but there was no catching this girl. I was trying to console my 25 year old body about my slower pace by telling myself that she had to be a high school cc runner, track star, or something of that nature.  When she stopped at the top of the hill to talk to a car that had pulled into one of the drive-ways,  I was super thrilled because I was dying to get a good look at this chick with the ridiculously fast pace & insanely skinny legs that went along to match.  When I finally caught up to her, I could not believe my eyes.  Shock & awe doesn't even cover what I saw.  I was right about one thing.  She was definitely in high school- couldn't have been a day over 15 years old.  But I was wrong about her legs.  They weren't skinny.  They weren't long.  They weren't even present.  Those skinny legs were actually prosthetic limbs.  Oh. My. God......
I had been praying over the past few days for God to cut me some slack & to let something GOOD happen because I couldn't handle much more. Witnessing the determination of this other runner gave me the gut check (and tears) that I was in desperate need of.  God sent a message back to me alright- LOUD & CLEAR.  Sh*t happens, its how you respond to it that determines what you're made of.  This other runner has been dealt one hell of tough hand in life, but its not getting her down- Yet, I'm letting a few bad days make me the Prozac poster child.  Needless to say, the endorphins I got from that run weren't the only thing that helped give me a new lease on life.  I am incredibly blessed & I need to remember it. Every day.  


So, speaking of the poster child for Prozac.....

Lets discuss this trainwreck.... Meet Amber Portwood.

Gary- Amber's Baby Daddy

Now, I'm aware that some of yall probably don't know her because you actually have standards when it comes to your television programming. But, shamefully,  I clearly don't share those standards.  Miss Portwood is from the classy MTV program "Teen Mom," & bless her heart, she is a hot darn mess.  Homegirl has been arrested for hitting her baby daddy (Gary- aka another winner) in front of her child, child neglect, & underage drinking.  And last night, I read that she tried to commit suicide on Monday night.  Yall- She is only 21. Do we think she'd have that kind of rap sheet & instability if she hadn't gained notoriety from Teen Mom?  Okay, Okay, in all honesty, she'd probably have some of it because she is kinda trashy, but I really think she's done a lot of it because she's learned that her crazy behavior gets her more attention, magazine covers, interviews, & lets not forget- another season of Teen Mom... And ps- it was reported that she made more than $280K in 2010.. and I mean, for what exactly?  Its not like she's poised with talent, unless you call perfecting your mugshot pose a talent? As much as this show has provided mindless entertainment for me, I have to question MTV's morals for continuing on with this.  Young girls are getting the wrong message from 16 & Preggo/Teen Mom.  MTV is making it seem perfectly normal & okay for these girls to get knocked up, make terrible decisions, and then be rewarded with a reality tv show.  Personally, I think they should only cast girls on Teen Mom if they are actually putting in an effort to turn their trainwreck lives around & into something... or MAYBE, I dunno, actually trying to provide a good home for their new children- novel idea, right? Now, my moral compass might not always point due North, but continuing to promote the concept of making horrendous decisions that negatively affect these young mothers ( & their children) because it makes for good tv just seems so incredibly wrong to me.  Come on, MTV- Go revamp Real World or something.

Now, I love some good trashy tv, but after hearing about Amber Portwood today, I gotta draw a line at this one.  Mmmmkay yall, thats it for now.  

Forever & Ever Amen

(Obvi- this isn't the real cemetery.)

Yesterday was first for me.  One of my customers lost his wife to a terminal illness over the weekend.  I've been doing this for about 4 years, and none of my customers have ever lost a spouse.  I think highly of all of my customers, but this gentleman, with 50+ years of expertise, has my utmost respect & admiration.  He's also just an extremely kind & genuine person, so it absolutely breaks my heart that he's now all alone.  So yesterday, I went by his office to drop off a card & additional treats for his office staff. It should probably be noted that his office is incidentally located directly across from the city's cemetery, & for some oblivious reason, this tidbit never even crossed my mind when I headed there yesterday morning. When I came back outside from the office to get back into my car, I looked across the street, and the burial portion of his wife's funeral was underway.
Side note:  I was told this morning that my customer bought those burial plots years ago- that way he would always be able to watch over her from his office if anything ever happened to her. Might be the sweetest thing I've ever heard.  
I literally stood there with tears in my eyes, frozen like a statue because my heart hurt so badly for this sweet older gentleman who had lost his wife after 53 years of marriage.

53 years of marriage.  What an accomplishment.  Can you imagine how strong of a bond they must have had?  I am in complete awe of people who have been married for such a long duration of time.  Marriage isn't easy, and whoever says that it is needs to be slapped. I kind of feel like married people should get a trophy for every year they are married- I'm actually 110% positive thats why we get a tax break :)
With all joking aside, I take marriage very seriously, most likely because of the example that was set forth by my family.  Both sets of grandparents are the quintessential role models of what the term "for better or for worse" truly means for couples.

Sweet Hazel (& my brother)

My maternal grandparents were married for 55 years before my Grandfather passed away.  My Grandmother absolutely loves to tell me that I was her favorite Anniversary present because I was born on their 49th wedding anniversary (Its July 26th- juuuuust in case you were wondering and/or want to send me a present! Just kidding. Kinda.), and I was their only granddaughter.  Wanna know the best part about their wedding anniversary? They never even had a wedding.  They actually snuck off to get married, and did not tell anyone for TWO years.  Apparently, they wanted to have their house completely built & paid for before they told anyone they were married?  Everytime I've ever quizzed my sweet little (4ft 10 inches) 94 year old bourbon-drinking baptist Grandmother (Hazel) as to why they snuck off to get married to my Granddaddy (who stood tall at 6ft 5 inches) or waited 2 years to tell anyone, she just giggles, and says "Welllll Suga, I just don't know.  I know it seems silly now, but then it seemed like an adventure."  You can't argue with that logic.  I love it.

This is my absolute favorite picture of them- taken @ Churchill Downs.
Lord only knows what he had said to get that look :)

My Paternal Grandparents were married just shy of 52 years.  Their love story is one for the books too.  My Grandfather moved to this small Indiana town from Kentucky, didn't come from much money, but was full of charm & big ideas.  My grandmother came from a pretty well-to-do family, and of course, they didn't approve of my Grandfather.  Not one bit.  Long story short, they got married and had my oldest Uncle when my Grandmother was only 17 years old. My Grandfather was hell bent and determined to win his over his in-laws & make something of himself, and that he did.  Guess who eventually built the most fantastic house that Scottsburg, IN had ever seen?  His charisma and kindness helped those big ideas become a reality, which led to him being wildly successful.  He had this HUGE personality, & was feisty as all get out. (My Dad tells me that I take after him through & through, which is by far the best compliment I could ever receive.) I wholeheartedly believe that my Grandmother's heart literally broke when he passed away because she was never the same after that. After being married for that long, I think it must feel like half of yourself is missing when your spouse passes away.

My parents were married for 32 years.  Yes, I said were.  As in past tense.  I'm not really ready to talk about that whole little road show yet, if ever.  When they divorced, it shook me to my very core.  I never believed in a million years that my parents would divorce.  Everyone knows Pat & Jan AS Pat & Jan.  Obviously, divorce doesn't happen in my family.  It just doesn't.  Side note: Whoever says divorce is easier to deal with as an adult also needs to be slapped.  Hard.  Divorce sucks.  Plain & Simple...   Anyway, It is a long story as to why they felt they needed to go their separate ways, & honestly, its not my story to tell.  Butttt I will tell yall 2 little tidbits about Miss Jan & Big P.......

Number 1- No matter how you look at it, 32 years of marriage is nothing to scoff at.  They went through crazy ups & downs, yet made it through together for a long time.  I truly admire both of my parents for following their hears in trying to figure out what was going to make them happy again.  Number 2- They've been divorced for 3 years now, which still just blows my mind.  However, Big P & Jan are now both happy again in a relationship.  With each other :)  Love always prevails, but I think sometimes you might have to veer off the beaten path to find it again.

Anyway, I always think of my grandparents when I hear this song about loving someone forever-So incredibly sweet. Well, thats it for now yall.  

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A lost wedding band AND a wallet?

I've been getting a ton of grief for how much I rag on my husband.  I try really hard not to include his ridiculousness in posts, but in all honesty, I can't help it- he makes my life infinitely more entertaining.  99.9% of the time his entertainment is a great blessing.  However, sometimes he is just straight special & does clownie things... and they need to be chronicled for your reading pleasure.
For example, I bet none of yall can say that your husband has managed to lose his wedding band & wallet within the past week?  Yes- wedding band AND wallet.  WITHIN a week.  Who does that? Seriously, who does that???  I would love to tell you all some awesome story about how he lost his wedding band while cliff diving at the lake or even tubing, buttttt thats just not how it happened.  I'd also love to tell you that he was protecting my honor against a group of gang members (because there are so many dangerous gangs in Lexington & everything. ptschhh), but again, I'd be lying.  So let me tell you these new Kev stories.

So, the wedding band WAS lost at the lake- that much was true.  However, once I noticed he was wearing his wedding band on the boat, I immediately made him take it off, and put it in a plastic bag in the boats glove compartment for safe keeping.  So, we're all good, right?  WRONG. Once we got back to marina, I got the ring out of the bag & brought it to him.  I sat it ON the table, and said, "Kevin, put your ring back on.  KEV- put your ring back on." Welllllll, tubba wubba decided that he should first engorge himself in more Bold Chex Mix (I can't really fault him for this because it is super delicious- by far the best Chex Mix flavor.) before putting his ring all the way back on.  Then, his fingers were a hot mess, so he flicked the mess off into the water.  And into the water the wedding band went. Womppp womppp womppppp.  My wrath was definitely not worth the deliciousness that the Chex Mix brought to him- I can assure you that.  We've been talking about replacing the band, but it just feels kind of wrong.  I mean- he took vows in that original wedding band.  A replacement band would have zero meaning behind it, right?  So, he's been wearing a ring that I gave him when we were dating.
As a side note- To Clarify any misconceptions- That ring was not in any way a "promise ring."  Give me some credit- I'm not that lame.  One of his friends had one & Kevin thought it looked cool on, so he wanted one.  End of story.  So, don't let him lie to you & tell you anything different :)


So, lets discuss the wallet.... After our friend Dana's wedding rehearsal, all of the boys went out on the town.  Meanwhile, all the bridesmaids went back to Dana's house to just have some girl time.  Kevin came to get me in a cab because he had indulged in one too many cocktails. So, he picks me up with the cab driver, whom Kevin has completely befriended & also giving this poor guy marriage advice. 2nd side note: I would pay big money to have heard what kind of relationship advice he was giving that unsuspecting driver. I'm sure it was top notch pearls of wisdom. Seriously- it mildly frightens me to know what he said.  Also, we should also discuss that when we get into a cab, Kevin never ever ever sits by me.  He always hops up front- like he is going to help navigate in his less-than-sober stupor?  That sounds like a promising idea. Not.

Anywho, we finally get home & Kevin urges me to go inside to check on the dog- probably so he can finish his counseling session with the cab driver?  Then, he comes inside & BEGS me to take him to Taco Bell, while he is cooking pizza bites.  He's a great multi-tasker, what can i say?  Finally he goes to sleep.  The next morning is when he finally realizes he managed to lose his wallet in the 3 minute duration of me leaving him to walk inside & him paying the cab driver.  That dern Taco Bell 4th meal will cause ya to lose focus every time.

So, needless to say, he was not at the top of my favorite list of people this past week.  Then, a miracle happened.  I don't know if I've mentioned it or not, but I'm in the process of getting my MBA.  So, I have class every Monday from 6-10pm, and yes- it makes me loathe Mondays even more than the average person.  A root canal has to be way more fun than my Mondays.  When I got out of class last night, I came home to a clean house, a full pantry (aka a full on grocery trip had been made), a perfectly manicured lawn, and an offer to take the dog on a walk.  Truth be told, I don't think being offered a cameo on the Real Housewives would have made me as happy as he did last night. He's the best, and I don't say that enough.  Sooooo, next time I make mention of wanting to kick him in his teeth for being utterly ridiculous or tardtastic, will someone please remind me of how much I do love this face? 

I mean, how can you resist? hahahaha

So, a few other people that I am loving on this Wednesday.... So, do you all remember how my Mr. Vuitton became a burn victim right?  So, nice people at Saks & LV stepped up their game, anddddddd ITS BEING REPAIRED AS WE SPEAK!!!!! For only $87. Bargain.  I got a little huffy with their original unwillingness to fix it, so I think they might have been petrified to tell me that cosmetic surgery on him was out of the question.  I mean, you don't mess with a girl & their burn victim Louis.  Trust me. If they hadn't repaired it, I may have gone Bon Qui Qui on them (Mad tv- I will eventually post a link to this. Its my fav.)

The last person I am loving? The fictional Luke Cafferty from Friday Night Lights (Real Name- Matt Lauria).  I love him.  He might just be my favorite player to have ever played in Dillion, Texas.  Side note- football players in my high school never looked like that.  Ever.  Anyway- Friday Night Lights = best show on television.  Ever.  If you haven't seen it, immediately invest in some Netflix & start from the beginning.  You will thank me for this advice- I guarantee it.  

Okay, thats it for now yall.  Have a great rest of the week.

Life Lessons from Lucy the Diva- Round 2

I love my job.  And as an added bonus, I'm pretty decent at it.  I've been doing it for about 4 years, so I like to think I know my stuff cold.  I make it my business to develop the best relationships possible with my customers without being too ummm... stalkerish or single white female-esque?  While I'm getting to know my customers, they're also getting to know me.  In my last area, some of my customers & offices became like family to me because I lived by myself, so they were the only people I knew in the town I lived in (I feel it is necessary to mention that this town was DRY (as in alcohol is strictly prohibited), had 28+ consecutive stop lights in a row, the best shopping was to be found at JC Penney, & did I mention it was Dry? As in NO WINE? Who does that? ) Anyway, I was so close with some of my old customers that when I got my new area, tears were shed-not only on my part, but also with some of my customers. Partly because I think they knew I probably wouldnt be back once I got the Lexington Area, but it was mainly probably because they knew other people wouldn't be nice enough to bring them the classy snacks like I did from places like Wendys, Sonic, and Taco Bell :)  Ha.  So, my old partner took over our old area, and has done a fantastic job with it.  However, she is preggo with twins, so someone will have to cover for her with her biggest customers. (PS- how flippin cute is she?  SO preggo & still SO adorable. I can guarantee I will look nothing like this when I am pregs. So jeal.) Anyway,  I assumed it would be me covering for her during her maternity leave.  WRONG.  Everyone knows I have great relationships in that area, so I would be the best choice.  WRONG. AGAIN. Apparently, another colleague of mine (who has been with the company 13 years versus my piddly 4 years) campaigned to cover for her instead.  My initial thoughts, "WTF.  No one can work that area like me or Leslie.  I have those towns on lock.  Are you flippin kiddin me? Buhbye sales quota trip. " - (Yes, I am aware of how incredibly NOT modest that sounds once you say it outloud.  But I'm all about transparency & thats what I was honestly thinking.  Like yall haven't thought you're more capable of doing a job versus a coworker.  Plleeease.)

So, I get home from work...Fuming.  I am literally breathing fire.  Then, I walk into our laundry room AKA the Cats room, and see my little Lucy girl hanging out in her bed.

Why is she so flippin cute? Seriously? 

When I say hanging in her bed, I really mean hanging in her luxurious cat condo.  What? You don't own one of these in your house?  I'm stunned.  Its so aesthetically pleasing.  Um, yeah right. 

Side note: I want to go ahead & clarify that I DID NOT purchase this for our house.  This little number was alllllll Kevin.  About 3 years ago (while I was DYING for him to propose to me) he called one one day and says "Hey hon?  I think I'm gonna buy the cats a new little toy.  Do you mind?"  Me: "No, that sounds good.  Go for it."  15 minutes later he rolls home with the 3 tiered CAT CONDO, which was a cool $200.  SERIOUSLY?  The Cats sleep number > buying Caroline an engagement ring.  Ridiculous, right? Bahahahahaha.  Soooo not normal.  

Anyway, Lucy is ALWAYS on this middle or the lowest level.  She is never EVER EVER the highest level.  One of the main ways cats show their dominance against other cats is by positioning themselves higher than other cats.  As a result, Breyer (aka the oldest cat/queen bee) is on the top of that cat condo 99.9% of the time.  Even with Lucy's undeniable diva status, she does not dare to rock the boat & piss off Breyer.  Lucy also lets Breyer eat first, lets her get the better couch positions, etc. She respects Breyer's role in our house. .  
(Who am I kidding? It probably has nothing to do with respect.  In regards to Breyer, Lucy is probably thinking, "Dear Breyer, Since I'm so pretty & have voluptuous curves, I will grant you the privilege of eating before me so you can get some meat on your bones, you skinny winch.  In addition, you can also have better couch position to increase the prettiness level of your fur since my looks favor that of  a mini KY wildcat & you favor a mere tabby cat.  Is it hard being so jealous of me? Oh it is?  Okay, since I took your status as favorite cat, I will also allow you to sleep on the top tier of the condo.  The middle level is closer to the food, so any way you look at it, I'm winning. Purr that Breyer.")
   However after watching THE Diva be content on the 2nd level of the cat condo, it hit me like a ton of bricks... Yes, I am good at my job.  Yes, I had great relationships with my old customers.  However, my colleague has tremendous accolades to her name & is fully capable of earning business/achieving great success with my old customers.  My four years with my company pales in comparison to her 13 year tenure.  I needed to get off my high horse & fast. Sooo. what did we learn from Lucy the Diva?

Lucy Life Lesson #2: Know your role & learn some humility. 


Yall, I can't lie, I had to swallow a little bit of pride to come to this conclusion that another person might possibly be really great with my old group of customers.  Okay, not just a little bit of pride.  More like a mountain's worth of pride- but if Lucy the CAT diva is comfortable with getting a daily dose of humility then I need to be better with it.  Stat.  Sure, I'd love to believe that no one can do my job like I can, but thats just not the case.  13 years trumps 4 years any day of the week.  I just had a hard time admitting it, but I'm good with it now.  Thanks to divs :) 
Now, to close, I know you all are DYING to go out an immediately purchase a cat condo to have in your own home.  So, here are a few options for you.  Happy Shopping!  Thats it for now!
(The Diva says she would like to point out that her bday is right around the corner... and she would prefer either the BIGGEST condo so she can escape her jealous-ridden cat sisters OR the pink cat condo because after all, it is her color.)

The Day Dina Lohan & I had something in common

So if you don't know by now, I am the proud owner of 3 cats & a dog.  Since Kev & I don't have children quite yet, we literally treat these creatures as if we bore them ourselves.  Its mildly ridiculous.  But in all seriousness, one of the main things I take pride in with my animals is that they are all extremely good natured in personality.  Hudson has never bitten anyone (including other dogs), and the cats have never scratched anyone.  (Kev & I obvi done a great job with our animal parenting skills. bahhahaa)  Anywho, all of our neighbors know our cats because they are indoor/outdoor cats.  Breyer & Lucy are extremely territorial & never leave our property line.  However, Stella (aka the ugly. no homely.  ok unique) looking cat sometimes gets bold & will venture to various neighbors houses.  She loves kids, so its no big thing.... Or so I thought.
So last Friday, I get home only to be met by not just one, but TWO of the neighborhood mothers.  I am thinking to myself, "Oh fantastic.  This conversation looks promising.  Not."  Keep in mind that I am extremely time crunched because I had to get up to Indianapolis for a bachey party (Chronicled in full by Pink Lou Lou).  So these 2 women literally come into my garage the moment I pull in & approach me with concerned faces.  Conversation went as follows:
Neighbor 1: "Caroline, we need to have a conversation about your cats."
Me: " Oh?  What about them? "
Neighbor 2: "Well, one of them brutally attacked one of the baby birds in one of our trees.  My children have been in complete devastation all day.  We havent been able to leave the house out of fear that YOUR cat might come back again & repeat this act.  So we've been keeping a close, protective watch on the nest since then."
Me: Thinking to myself- Is this lady for real?  How am I fighting the urge to hysterically laugh right now. I mean, does she want me to ground them?  How do i respond to this?? So my response was "Oh. Gosh.  Ummm. I'm sorry?  Ummm?"
Neighbor 1: "So what S is saying is that her & her family would appreciate if you kept your cats inside from now on so we can avoid any more of these instances."
Me: "Ummm. Well, I'll try my best, but they are cats.  They want to be one with nature.  They'll be kept inside this weekend because Kev & I will both be gone, but after that, I'll ummm... try?  I guess? You know there are other neighborhood cats, right? "
Neighbor 2: "Yes, please do keep them because I don't want my kids to experience any more of those traumatic experiences. No- we are positive it was your cat because we see her wandering the neighborhood CONSTANTLY, so odds are it was her."
Me: "Oh, um.  Ok.  Well, I have to go now.  I'll keep an eye on them?"

To say I was completely bewildered/crestfallen/horrified is a vast understatement.  I seriously felt like they came over to attack my animal parenting skills. I mean, are other neighbors talking about our animals being complete menaces the neighborhood?  I felt instant panic at the thought of me being a complete failure as a mother.  Is this how Dina Lohan feels on a daily basis?  Good god, I should send her a card because I completely under-estimated how that disappointment/horrification feels.  Side note- don't children kind of need to learn about animal life cycles at some point?  How do they explain roadkill to their kids?  Or death in general? Or maybe their type of home-schooling just doesn't cover those subjects until later?  Gosh, I just don't know.
So of course, I call Kevin to vent my frustrations because I am so incredibly stunned by this occurrence on so many levels.
Kevin's response?
"They asked you if we could keep our cats inside?  A better question would be "Why haven't you shown your kids The Lion King?"  Its the Circle of Life, good god.  If they would have came to me with that BS, I would have had to have said, "Do you even know who Rafiki is? Circle of Life. Learn it & leave my cats alone. Thanks."  Then, I would have held up Stella on the top of of our porch, while singing the Circle of Life Song to reiterate my point.  Don't worry, I'll handle it next time."


Ummm, is this my real life?  I married that.  Who's jealous?  Bahahaha if you're not, then you should be, because I went from being in almost tears to giggling uncontrollably.  Now, I'm just fighting the urge to sing the song every time I pass by their house.  

So Dina Lohan, if you are reading this, just remember ONE thing.  Apparently, the key to dealing with people criticizing your children is to just bark a lesson learned from a Disney Movie.  My husband swears it will work.  To give him some credit- the boy does get along with everyone, so maybe he's on to something.  Hahaha.   Alright, yall have a wonderful Memorial Weekend!! Thats it for now!

The end of an Era

Yesterday was a sad day yall.  The Berry Twist has shut its doors on its original location, and has moved.  I'm sure you're thinking to yourself "Umm, Caroline? We have no earthly idea what any of those words mean.  Are you speaking jibberish again?"  So, the Berry Twist- lets discuss.  

The Berry Twist is an ice cream place in beautiful Floyds Knobs, IN, which is home to the most delectable ice cream, chili dogs, & Artic Swirls you've ever tasted in your life.  Southern Indiana has about 5 seriously legit Mom & Pop Ice Cream stores, but this one is by FAR the best.  Maybe because this little gem was also my first place of employment that ended up lasting for 6+ blissful years :) I literally started working there when I was 14, and finally left when I was 20.  I probably would've tried to make a career out of being a Berry Twist girl.  However, my father told me that I needed to learn a few more marketable skills to help fluff up my resume.  As if making and serving ice cream isn't an impressive skill?  Come on, Big P.  You never seem to complain when I make you a flawlessly perfect ice cream cone when we come across a self-serving ice cream machine, do you?  While everyone else is making sloppy ice cream cones that can't even stay on the cone & are a hot mess, all of my loved ones get the distinct pleasure of indulging in an immaculately manicured cone. Not a marketable skill? Seriously? Hmphhhhh.  Anyway, I had no idea that Berry Twist was moving until my faux aunt (Good family friend, who is like a aunt/sister/friend all rolled into one. She rocks.) texted me this picture last night.   Talk about instantaneous heartbreak.  I mean, how can you leave the original Scottsville Road location after 33 years to go to a strip mall?  Where's your sense of loyalty? That building has history.  I mean, it watched me go through about a gazillion boyfriends, numerous break-ups, graduation, me getting my license, my first car, my first real love, etc.  Boy, if those walls could talk.  Actually, lets be honest here.  I should probably be eternally grateful that they can't :)  In all seriousness, my high school career would not have been the same without this place.  

I remember my high school boyfriend, B,  teasing me about how much I loved working there.  Well, duh B!  Where else can you work, get to visit with your girlfriends (bc 2 of my best friends worked there with me), have free ice cream & snacks while working, have unlimited diet coke, all while getting to chat up the customers ( all of which you know because everyone knows everyone in Floyds Knobs).  But I mean, I like all of those words in that sentence-Of course I loved working there! It was like my own personal version of heaven. 

Just so you all can really understand the greatness of me being a Berry Twist Girl, I have provided you with a little throwback pic.  (No judgement on my flippy hair. It is circa 2002- it was a cool style.  No seriously, it was.  It looked good.  Or- I thought it did anyway).

Do yall like mah sweet cat eye sunglasses?? How about my super snazzy faux corn rows? So hot. (Best part about this picture is that I truly thought I was good at doing my hair.  Just ask my parents- they'll probably also comment on me being insistent upon rocking curled bangs throughout junior high. The hairspray to make those babies stay was intense.  Nothing could move those bad boys.  Gosh, I was so darn cool.  Not. )  Anyway, if memory serves me correct, I'm pretty sure this was taken summer before my senior year... so chances are good that I had just gotten off work, & was fixing to meet up with the HS boyfriend (B), go cruise Highlander Point to see what was going on that night (most likely nothing), then head back to my parents house & make out while watching a movie in the basement.  -It should also be discussed that I had a largely inflated view of myself when I was through high school, so chances are I did all of those activities with an "Im so much cooler than you" attitude.  Good lord, I needed a reality check. I sometimes think I should just send my parents a plaque saying "We survived the moodiness that was Caroline in High School."  I am so screwed if Kevin & I have girls.  Karma is gonna be a huge hooker to me.  But again- lets be honest- I rightfully deserve it.  

One other really fun thing that we got to do as a Berry Twist girl was that you got to stop by on your prom night & get free ice cream for you + your date.  Obviously, I took advantage of that.  Free dessert? Absolutely.  But the best part was that you felt like a huge rockstar when you stopped by in your prom dress because everyone stopped & stared.  Alright Alright, I took advantage of that so I could relish in feeling like a movie star for a night- the free artic swirl was just an added bonus ;)  Such a fabulous tradition- I hope they still do that 

Caroline + HS boyfriend/Prom Date circa 2002. Gotta love 2 piece dresses.

Per usual, I digress.  Although the Berry Twist will still be in Floyds Knobs, and only .5 of a mile away from its original location, I feel as though we should all take a moment of silence to commemorate the end of the Berry Twist's reign on Scottsville Road.  (Insert moment of silence here.  Picture me being quiet. Hard to do, right?  Well...regardless- Do as I say, not as I do :)  ).  Okay- thats it for now yall.  

Life Lessons from Lucy the Diva

Due to popular demand, I have decided that it is absolutely necessary to chronicle the Life of Lucy the diva.  In case you don't know who this charismatic character is, she is my youngest cat.  Also known as my favorite cat. (So mean, right? I'm convinced that my blatant favoritism is the primary reason why the other 2 cats immensely dislike her. OMG. What if I'm like that with my real children? Great, another thing for me to worry about with getting preggo.)

However, before I get into what I learn from this prima donna pussy cat, we first need to comment on the NEW BLOG DESIGN!!!!!!  On a scale of 1-10, how spectacular is the new layout?? What is that you say? An 18? Yes, I think so too.  Again, HUGE shout out to  Jenn at Munchkinland Designs for not only understanding my vision & carrying it out to completion, but also dealing with my countless obsessive emails throughout the process.  She is an absolute dream to work with!

So, back to Lucy, my luscious load of a feline... This cat has the most ridiculous personality of any cat I've ever been around.  She's cuddly, needs a ton of attention, adorable, princess-like, but she can also be rather moody, persnickety, & high maintenance. My delightful husband likes to say that Lucy's personality mirrors her mothers (Ahem... that'd be me).  So, he's saying she's perfect, right? ha. Yeah, right. Honestly though, if he compared me to Stella, our less than intelligent and homely cat, I'd be highly offended.  (Bless her little heart. PS- Yall do know the "Bless her heart" rule, right? You're allowed to say ANYTHING about anyone if you throw in a "Bless their heart" afterwards.  It completely erases the negativity of the comment.  Example: Susie gets around & is a heinous B word. Bless her heart. - The Bless her heart totally negates the previous statement.  This could EASILY be my favorite Southern Rule & I exercise it often.  Okay, daily.)
 Anywho, as you can imagine, Lucy the Diva gets a lot of attention from my friends because... well.. She demands it when she fatses into the room.  So, my hilarious friend Allie (aka THE Pink Lou Lou) & I consistently have conversations about the ridiculous behavior of Lucy (along with convos about the ridiculousness of her pug, Sadie Belle- A diva in her own right.), and we determined that the world could really learn a lot from Lucy's behavior, and would be a better place because of her teachings. So here we go in to Life Lesson #1 from a Diva.........

As I've mentioned in previous posts, we also have a dog, Hudson.  Bless his sweet heart- he is rather, ummm..spirited in everything he does.  He wants to be everyone's best friend, and he honestly gets upset if someone doesn't like him.  Happiest Dog Alive. Anyway, he LOVES playing with Lucy because she's our only cat that will actually race around the house with him.  However- she only likes to do so on HER TERMS.  From the moment I walked in the door tonight, Hudson was in a rambunctious mood, and was chasing Lucy around like a mad man.  She hissed a few times, but it didn't derail him. Not one bit.  Then she opted to viciously growl & swat at him anytime he approached her to join in his rowdy fun.  Again- homegirl was not having it.  Being the sensitive puppy that he is, Hudson proceeded to cry/bark/make awkward sounds with Lucy's unwillingness to play. SO loud. SO annoying.  Things finally calmed down when we had dinner, & we both commented about how nice the silence was.  We figured Lucy had finally gotten pissy enough w/ Hudson's madness to have found a prime hiding spot upstairs away from him.  By this time, 20-1 odds say that Lucy's thoughts went something like this, "Hudson, good lord child, can you not tell that I need my beauty rest after capturing 2 mice outside last night?  What have you done to contribute lately other than chew our Mom's beloved JSimps heels? Idiot. To hell with you if you aren't going to leave me alone.  I'll just sneak upstairs & find a new Francesca's dress to sleep on.  I achieve my favoritism through preserving mom's new clothes by sleeping on them & giving them a nice fur sheen. Maybe you should try it sometime, moron. Ciao." However, we then walked into our living room to see this....

Yes, that is Lucy the Diva, and Yes, that is her holding Hudson's toys captive.  You have to hand it to her.  She held it together (for the most part), got devious, and hit him where it hurt.  The pups was negative happy when he saw this scene.  He instantly went over to her, laid down next to her, & licked her paw.  I'm pretty sure that in the animal world, that is a pretty solid apology.  Diva proved her point in a big way w/ the her little toy hoarding maneuver.... So, what did we learn?

Lucy Lesson #1: If someone makes you mad, always keep your cool.  If you choose to retaliate, do so in a strategic manner.  During this process, you will provoke a genuine apology from the perpetrator. 

As you can tell, we can all benefit from behaving like Lucy (aside from her excessive eating habits, but that's another story...).  

One last tidbit- Since my kitty showed her crafty/calculating side, I felt like this was absolutely necessary because Lucy would totally do this if she worked to increase her literacy.

I'm aware I have an off beat sense of humor, but I laugh every time I see this :)  Okay, thats it for now!