Thursday, March 24, 2011

True Life: I'm a.....

Ummmm, Is it Friday yet? Good Lord, what a week! One.More.Day. Thank goodness. So, since we haven't reached our much beloved Friday AND the weather has decided to go to hell in a handbag, I thought I would generous and share a shocking secret. Trust me, it'll be quality entertainment. So, here we go...
True Life: I am the WORST dancer on the planet. I wish I was joking, but my moves (if you can even call them that) can be classified as embarrassingly horrible. My husband, parents, and a few of my select friends (who I have actually let witness this horridness) will whole-heartedly confirm my lack of dancing ability. The problem lies within the fact that I have zero rhythm. Somehow, there is this huge disconnect between my brain hearing the beat of the music and my body responding with appropriate movements. What happens instead is this: I either look like I am having a seizure or I look like the old people at church who clap off beat because they can't hear the music. It just looks WRONG. This is pretty much me in a nutshell.

Wow. Want to hear the irony behind this?? Well, first off, my parents actually paid for dance lessons for 2-3 years of my life. You know, the kind of dance lessons that require participating in recitals? If you picture the child who was always about 2 beats behind everyone else, that was me. Recently, my parents even confessed that they used to take me to my dance recitals, but then sneak out once it got rolling. What parents do that??? I mean, I guess they knew my performances weren't going to win any awards? Still, thanks for the vote of confidence, Pat & Jan. Second point of irony? I was definitely on my School's dance team. Oh yes, I was a Floyd Central Dazzler at one point in my life. For those of you who do not have the privilege of being from beautiful Floyds Knobs, Indiana, it is actually the AWARD winning Floyd Central Dazzlers, who have won the national champtionship like 10 times or something crazy. The hilarious part with that is that I was the alternate. AKA- I was allowed to dance at games, but pretty much banned from all competitions. During my short stint as a dazzler, I had to attend several UofL Lady Bird dance clinics, and they always give out awards at the end of each clinic. Most commonly: Best technique, best in pom, etc. My award? Best attitude. Bahahahahahahaha. Talk about getting the sympathy vote. I know I was SOOO into it, which is just beyond embarrassing now because my dancing is just so hideous. I think it was around this time that Big P (aka my Dad) had a little pep talk with me in my room. The conversation went a little something like this:
Big P: Honey, you can be just okay at a lot of different things. Or really, really great at like, 1 or 2 things. So it might be better to focus on say, tennis & swimming, and less on being a dazzler.
Caroline: So No Dancing?
Big P: Honey, I think dancing might be one of those things you can only be just okay at.
Hahahaha- You gotta love Big P. I know it sounds like he was being harsh, but I swear, he's the best dad in the world.
See? In no way can that man be considered malicious. I am confident that his pep talk was just trying to save me from a life time of ridicule.
However, the worst aspect about my horrible dancing ability is that I have ridiculous anxiety about going places where I might have to dance. And lucky me, guess what is right around the corner? Wedding season. For us, it starts in 2 weeks. And we have around 14 weddings to go to. Hells Bells. So, if you happen to notice me in the corner, by myself & with a cocktail, this is not a mistake. Instead, it a strategic move to get me out of going anywhere near the dancefloor. It'll actually probably take about 5 of those cocktails to even get me remotely close to the dancefloor. And IF (huge IF) I actually make it on the dancefloor, have no fear, I will be easy to point out. Just look for the girl who is making even the YMCA & cha-cha slide look awkward..Because chances are- its me. Thats it for now. XOXO- Caroline


  1. Soo just have to say that I also danced in high school and you all were incredible!! We loved watching Floyd Central gals! Especially at Nationals!!! :) really funny about the alternate spot, too, hahaha!